The smiles that I missed

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Written by
3 years ago

Let me start this by introducing myself. My name is Cassey, a 28 year old female with red hair, 5'3 tall, fair skinned Filipina. I work as a banker for 6 years now and I have been single for 7 years. Being single is by choice, I lost the only man that I loved from an accident and since then I stopped meeting new people.

My life revolves between work and home, being with my family and a few trusted friends. I don't go out much and hate being in the crowd. It has been like this for the past 7 years. I can't remember the last time I was happy, like genuinely happy, like just happy and not worrying anything, just happy, happy.

As I looked through my old pictures I noticed that even my eyes sparks when I smiled before, that my stomach aches when I laugh hard, that sometimes I feel like I'm about to pee myself out of laughing. All I have right now are memories of my smiles and my laugh.

When the pandemic hit, I realized that I have burried myself too deep from loneliness and I can't even get out from it. I don't know how to be happy anymore. I don't know how to escape from the pain and from the loneliness.

I wanna bring back my smiles, that genuine smiles, that smile that I missed.

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