People always say,

Love isn't about what you see but it is about what you feel from the heart.

And, yes, I believe that. Today, I will be sharing to you a story of my first love. Well, it is a bit funny but also, tragic at the same time. So, yeah, let me begin...

WHEN EVERYTHING STARTED

It was way back when I was still in my 4th year in high school. Text mates are still very common back then and Facebook has just began to be popular. I am one of those people who keeps sending group messages from time to time so I ended up having a lot of text mates. I even join some celebrity text clans before.

One day, I got a call from an anonymous number and I picked it up. We became friends and then, more than friends.

Why did I fell in love with him?

Well, he was very witty which I loved. He always speaks in English to me (I don't know why but I seem to be attracted to men who speaks English very well). He was very sweet and he sure knows the words to say to make my heart flatter. He sings for me. He is very concerned with me. And he calls me because he likes talking to me. I haven't seen him in person but still, my heart really beats for him.

Days has passed and we were asking for each other's Facebook so we would be able to see each other's photo. When I saw him, I fell more in love because he looked so cute in his photos.

This is one of the photos he has on his Facebook. You see? He is so cute. He's got this "chinito" eyes which made him even cuter. Also, he has such long nose (this is really what I first notice when I look at someone). He looks really tall. Who wouldn't be so in love with that, right?

I could say, he really managed to steal my heart.

When everything got messed up..

When I first saw his photos, I printed them out and put them in a clear book. I showed his photos to my friends the next day. But, that was when everything got so messed up. My other classmates managed to see his photos and they were saying he was really handsome and that, I was very lucky to be able to catch such a big fish as him.

Their lines were all like,

"Jane, can I borrow your boyfriend?"

"Can he just be mine?"

"You're not compatible with each other. He's better off with me."

And then, I told him how my classmates reacted and his answers just made me feel really secured.

"They're just jealous. Don't mind them. I love you, that's what matters."

"You'll be the only one to me."

"How many times do I have to tell you? I accept you for you for who you are. I don't care what other people will say to me or to us. I'm just expressing what I feel for you. I love you."

Those were the things he told me so I felt really secured.

But, one day, my dad had to take away my phone from me since he noticed I have been on my phone most of the time. And then, we lost our communication. But of course, I was like BDO and found ways to take my phone back. But, it took me like 2 days to do that.

When I got my phone back, he wasn't responding to me anymore and then, I just knew that he's starting to flirt with my classmate. I confronted him and he just told me,

"Let me tell you, I don't feel like the way I felt before. I don't feel like whatsoever!"

"You can't blame me. We've lost our communication and temptations are everywhere."

And in my mind, I was like,

Really? That quick?

How could someone fall out of love so easily?

I was really so heartbroken and cried many nights. All my emotions has just gone to waste. But, yeah, I was still very young back then so I guess, I didn't know better.

When I suspected he was catfish..

Before we broke up, he told me he will coming to my place to see me. He even asked me to book him a place where he could stay. But, days passed, his friend came over to my town. She was a girl. Her name was Shandy. But she didn't meet up with me because we didn't have communication anymore and Shaun and I already broke up. She met up with my classmate and accidentally, I saw them together when I was on my way to church. What is so weird is that, Shaun and Shandy are friends. She said they were really close friends but I never see even a single photo of them together. Also, days after we broke up, he has deactivated his Facebook and then, few months after, he activated it again but, he never post any updates anymore nor friends tagging him in photos. His Facebook account seem to be - DEAD. Looking at it now, still nothing has changed on it. It was still the same as how it was way back at 2011.

So, I guess, he really was a cat fish after all.

An undiscovered mystery

Until now, it is still a mystery to me as to who that person really was. I wanted to know why he/she did that. I wanted to know if those feelings were even real. I wanted to know who really was that person in the photos?

But, I m happy where I am at now.

Looking back, that experience was just a broken road that lead me to my fiancé now. He speaks better English than he does. He has longer nose than he has. He is sweeter and more concerned about me than he was. He is way much better than he was. And, what's more important,

HE IS REAL.

I could see him. I could touch him. I could get to video call with him and see what he's doing every time. And I know that the emotions I invested in him will not go to waste.

Conclusion..

I know, we all have tragic stories. It may not be similar to what I have encountered but one thing is for sure - we all learn in those experiences.

So, let's be happy it happened because it makes us stronger and helps us to make better decisions next time. We should look back to them and learn from them.

To the people who have hurt us, let us not hold grudges. It will only make us bitter and make our life miserable. Just forgive and let God handle the rest.

I hope you enjoyed reading my story.

P.S. All the lines from him that I wrote here are really verbatim. Exactly how he said them to me back then because I actually wrote a whole autobiography about this experience before and wrote it online so I still know where to find it whenever I want to. (Not like I want to read it anymore. I don't even want to. It's just funny to look back at it. It's so funny how stupid I was)

Love lots,
Jane 🌻🌻