Photo by yours truly; the view of the sky from my window.

Strange days come, I sit still.

Hi! I found myself randomly entering letters again, as if I'm a musician trying to find the right notes to complete a song. I have to say it, I need to say this — I feel complete empty.

Everyday that passes by robs a thing from inside of me and I get so much lighter. I can hardly put my feet on the ground to stand up and carry the dreams I once dreamt. I really wonder where'd I got all those hopes to be the kind of person. It's saddening that this is who I am right now and I'm tired of lying to myself that this is just a phase, because it really seems not. This feels like reality, it's hurting through my bones and no matter how much I cry all those tears out, I'm still drowning inside. Nobody sees, nobody believes, and that's what hurts more.

There's a lump in my throat which stops me from saying what I feel. I don't want to be a dead fish swimming on a river until it reaches the sea but right now I am. I have so many thoughts pulling one another and it tighten my heart so much that I could barely breathe. Every second, I doubt all the decisions that I've made. Did I made up everything that I used to believe in? Why is everything in the past feels like a fantasy that I've written up — it was good until it lasted, while I was writing it, and now it's all blank pages, there's no ink, and my tears can't write.

Waking up feels like a chore to me. I don't have something to grasp on anymore. There's no right word to describe it. This unimaginable but it's happening to me.

Most of the time, it happens to us.

I am here to tell you that it’s okay, because I could listen to you. I can be a friend to guide you every step of the way and we could get lost together, but I can promise you that you’ll never be alone. Your fight can be my fight. Days like these can be lightened with people with deep understanding and it would’ve been a great world if it’s full of people like that.

You are not shallow.

You can cry for anything and I won’t judge you because I cry about random things too until my eyes are swelling and only ice could fix it. Our emotions are valid; we are human. We are meant to feel the pain. We are meant to cry over it. We are meant to react at things that hurt us.

You deserve to be here.

There are people out there, like us, who’s looking for listeners. We are here for a reason and you have to find that reason every single day. God loves you, you will never be alone.

Sometimes, we really have to be our own cheerleader—we have to rely on ourselves. But isn’t bad to call a trusted friend and sit still and say nothing. The silence will speak for you, your eyes will tell your stories, and sincere souls will see it through.

If these days, like a Friday with a dark sky ever comes to you, know that I am here to catch you from falling. I could tell you one or two advice, or maybe none at all but I won’t leave you. You can trust on me— I won’t promise but you have my word.

Maybe it’d be nice to catch the sun set with a fiery sky. Maybe it’d be kind to get a tap on your shoulder. Maybe it’d be nice to jump on to the waves and learn how to dive.

This day isn’t miserable even if it’s heavy. Mysteries after lies and truth is hiding beneath your life — unreal but this is reality.

May we always find the strength to breathe and hold on. I hope that while reading this, you found a friend in me. Thank you for being here and may we talk again in my next ones.

You can comment down anything under the sun, I won’t judge.

Here’s a flower from our garden to end this blog. May serenity and peace put you to sleep and may hope visit you at sunrise!