Ask 10 different parents how to do anything and you will come up with no less than 20 different options on how to accomplish the task. That being said, here's 3 Keys to Being a Successful Stepparent.
Parenting and Step parenting
It does not really matter which set of stats you look at, all show that somewhere around half of all marriages in the U.S. end in divorce. Odds are pretty good that if not you, then at least one of your friends, acquaintances or coworkers has a split household somewhere in their tree.
Let's not dwell on the morality, ethics, or other factors that go into the decisions around relationships, rather focus on the younglings who are affected.
Both the parents and step parent roles need commitment and focus to keep the train on the tracks with everything it takes to prepare a growing being in this world.
This author has been a step parent for the last several years and during that time has come up with quite a bit of both experience and perspective on some points that make for a better experience overall.
We can look more closely. Here's 3 Tips that will be helpful.
1. Support the Present
During an interview with the famed performance coach Tony Robbins, another famed authored talked about his youngest son and the challenges in his own life.
He said something very profound. In essence he was saying to support the present version and who the child is today. Not who they "will be".
Cheer and appreciate who they are today and everyday.
Intellectually that sounds really simple. Often as in most things, the execution is where the challenge rests.
Take an example for something that most likely occurs in your house. Have you heard this question before;
What do you want to be when you grow up?
We have seen and heard that everywhere, right? I mean c'mon, it's innocuous on many levels. Or is it?
Actually, the subconscious message the is usually unintended but ever present is; You Are Not Enough Today, But Will Be Someday.
Whoa! Think about that for a minute.
We can change with an ever so slight adjustment though which will have tremendous effect.
What do you want to be today?
Now I know some may say, well if someone says they want to be an attorney in 2nd grade isn't that a little far fetched?
I say not. I actually know someone who said in 2nd grade; "I want to be a lawyer". Guess the position today?
Lawyer...
I rest my case.
We could delve deeper into that #1, but there are 2 more, so let's explore.
2. No Crying Over Spoiled Milk
There's nothing that bothers me more when the adults at the table can eat a plate of tacos with nothing ending up on the table.
No sour cream slathered on the hands and face & clean up looking relatively easy, when on the other hand...
Everything ends up everywhere...
I know you know what I mean. How can a glass of milk with only have a teaspoon worth left in the bottom end up all over the floor, table, lap, face, clothes and everywhere else in between.
Just have to say, thank goodness for pets. Dogs in particular. Ha!
In all seriousness, think about where the problem actually lies? With the adults.
Let the kids be kids. And don't cry over spilled milk. If you lead by example and keep leading by example it may take a little longer but the younglings will figure it out.
Just make sure you have more paper towels in the meantime.
3. There is Always Enough Time
Especially in 2020 and now in 2021, more and more families are spending extended amounts of time together.
Interruptions are rampant and personal space is being redefined. Our schedules are being constantly challenged and adjusted and we are finding ways to be more creative with how we complete what it is that we are setting out to do each day.
One may argue that the new way of doing business is supporting more diverse and creative lifestyles.
The challenge is to compliment what is being done across the different platforms, be it work, school, home and everywhere else in between.
Be patient, let the distractions come as they may and just realize that there is always enough time, it is just a matter of adjusting our own perspectives.
2021 and Beyond
3 Tips to Successful Parenting in my opinion has been foundational in operating at a high level of success over the last year.
Don't sweat the small stuff and enjoy each and every moment because they are fleeting.
What is your best tip for an overarching parenting or step parenting strategy?