When someone cuts you off in traffic, do you fume? When your kid refuses to cooperate, does your blood pressure rocket? Anger is a natural and even healthy emotion, but coping with it in a positive way is crucial. For both your health and your relationships, uncontrolled rage will take a toll.
Ready to take control of your anger? Start by considering these 10 tips for handling rage.
1. Think before you speak
It's quick in the heat of the moment to say something you'll regret later. Before saying something, take a few moments to gather your thoughts, and encourage those involved in the situation to do the same.
2. Express your rage until you are cool,
Share your anger in an assertive yet non-confrontational way as soon as you think clearly. Clearly and directly state your concerns and needs, without harming others or attempting to manipulate them.
3. Exercise
Physical exercise can be effective in minimizing tension that can make you angry. Go for a brisk walk or sprint, or spend some time doing other fun physical activities if you sense your frustration escalating.
4. Grab a timeout
Timeouts aren't for children only. During periods of the day that appear to be busy, allow yourself brief breaks. Without getting annoyed or frustrated, a few moments of quiet time could make you feel better prepared to manage what's ahead.
5. Identify potential alternatives
Work on fixing the problem at hand instead of dwelling on what made you crazy. Does a messy room with your child make you crazy? Make the door close. Every night, is your partner late for dinner? Schedule meals later in the evening or agree to eat a few days a week on your own. Remind yourself that rage is not going to solve anything, and could only make it worse.
6. Stick with comments about 'I'
Using "I" sentences to describe the issue to avoid criticising or putting blame, which would only raise stress. Be respectful and particular. For instance, say, "I'm upset that you left the table without offering to help with the dishes" rather than "You never do any housework."
7. Do not hold a grudge, don't
A important weapon is redemption. You could find yourself swallowed up by your own resentment or sense of injustice if you allow rage and other negative feelings to crowd out positive feelings. But if you can forgive anyone who angered you, you will both benefit and improve your relationship from the situation.
8. To relieve stress, use humor
Lightening up will help diffuse stress. Using humor to help you confront what makes you frustrated and, maybe, any unreasonable expectations that you have of how things should go. However, avoid sarcasm-it can hurt emotions and make things worse.
9. Relaxation skills learn
Put your relaxation skills to use when your temper flares. Practice deep-breathing exercises, visualize a soothing scene, or repeat a calming word or phrase, such as "Take it easy." You can also listen to music, write in a journal, or do a few poses of yoga, whatever it takes to facilitate relaxation.
10. Know when to request assistance
Learning to control frustration is a struggle at times for everyone. If your rage is out of control, causes you to do stuff you regret or affects those around you, seek treatment for anger problems.