Teach children to obey

CHALLENGES

You and your four year old are still in a battle of wills, and your son always seems to be winning.

If you tell him to do something he doesn't want, he will ignore you.

If you tell him not to do what you want, he will go into a fit of anger.

You can teach your child to obey. However, before discussing how you should consider the possible cause of your fault.

REASON WHY IS THIS HAPPENING

When your son was newborn, his main job was that of a caregiver. You were available for your son. All you had to do was complain and you came running to meet your every need. This response was, of course, appropriate and necessary. An infant or toddler needs constant attention from parents.

But after several months of treatment, it is natural for a child to behave as if he is the owner of the house and his parents, the servants, who were there to carry out their orders. For instance, at the age of two, the child usually realizes a harsh reality: his little "autocracy" has collapsed. His parents no longer follow his instructions; they expect him to follow them. It's a rude awakening for the children! Some respond with anger. Others test the authority of their parents by refusing to obey.

At this critical moment, the father must take on a new role: an autonomous person who gives clear indications on what is expected of the child. But what if the child ignores or rejects this direction, as described in the first instance?

WHAT CAN YOU DO

Take control. Your child will not accept leadership until he sees that you are taking responsibility for it. Therefore, you must exercise your authority in a balanced way. Over the past few decades, some of the so-called experts have toughened up the word "authority". Some even call parental authority “unethical” and “immoral”. But the alternative, permission, can make children confused, content, and entitled. It doesn't take much to prepare them for a responsible adult life.

Exercise discipline. A glossary defines discipline as "training that induces obedience or self-control, often in the form of rules and penalties for violation". Of course, discipline should never be irrational or offensive. On the other hand, it shouldn't be vague or irrelevant, leaving the child without any incentive to change.

Just to be clear. Some parents simply ask their children to obey. You might think you have good manners. However, this tactic can place the parent in a submissive role, giving the child the freedom to weigh the pros and cons of the request and then decide to do the same. Instead of relinquishing your authority, give clear instructions in the form of explanations.

To be strong. If they say no, stand still and show a united front with your spouse. If you chose an episode of disobedience, move on. Don't get involved in negotiations and keep pretending you've made your decision. It will be much easier for your child - and for you - if you just let "your" yes "mean yes and your" no "mean no".

Be loving. The family is neither a democracy nor a dictatorship. Rather, it is a God-given agreement whereby children can be lovingly led into responsible adult lives. As part of this process, discipline teaches your child to obey and helps them feel secure in your love.