If you’ve ever hurt someone you’ve loved before, chances are good that you’ve probably apologized profusely for causing them any pain and promised never to do such a thing again. While apologies can play a profound part in putting pain in the past, they cannot help your relationship grow if you don’t take the time to understand why they are significant. Before just apologizing to your partner for whatever you think has made them mad, consider taking the time to really understand why they are upset. Ask your partner open-ended questions about their experience and validate their feelings along the way. Let them air out their emotions by talking through their thoughts and feelings; while some of what they say may be painful to hear, having the ability to clear the air and speak their peace may help them begin to heal from the pain you’ve caused. By taking the time to truly understand your partner’s point of view, you can resolve current conflict while preventing any future problems.
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