You aren't Lost

I am not gonna lie, I have not always wanted to be an educator.

In fact, I can still remember the time where I was just forced to take this course just for the sake that I can finish and get a degree from it, then get a job as a police officer.

Then it became worst because I wasn't able to get my chosen major which is major in english, due to the reason that my chosen strand back in my senior high school days was Technical Vocational or TechVoc. I was left no choice, but to take the Bachelor of Technical Vocational teacher education major in automotive, which is I have a zero knowledge to begin with.

Actually, for the first 3 months of the class, I really didn't take it seriously. I just wandered around the Davao City and applied to many different companies like BPO and online tutor. I have no intention to continue my study because I was so devastated and disappointed, but still I manage to go to the campus everyday despite of having no interest about it.

Then one day, when I was applying to another BPO company, I unexpectedly met a person and was able to have a chitchat with her. We've talked about a lot of things but the only thing that really struck me was her last statement.

"Sometimes, God will not allow our plans to come into reality because He prepared something bigger and greater plan than it. And all we have to do is just to trust His heart."

It slapped me bigtime. I felt that I was taken back in a specific moment in my life where I kneeled and cried to God begging Him to send me to college, no matter what school or course it is, all I want that time was to be able to study in college and graduate.

That memory, woke me up from my rebellion.

This is my answered prayer. Out of thousand applicants, I am one of the students who were given the privileged to study in this prestigious university.

After that incident, I came to my senses and started all over again. Hope is rising from the bottom of my heart to every inch of my body.

I have realized how important my course is. Taking up education is not as easy as what it seems. It is more than making a lesson plan, teaching, conveying information and wearing uniform. It is giving everything. Your heart, your patience, your empathy, your skills and facing your fears. Teaching is not just merely standing in front of your students, it is also means facing your fears infront of many people. It is not merely wearing uniform, but to be a role model. It is not just about telling the students about what is on the book, but how you touch the lives of your student.

I am now a 3rd year education student.And I have experienced to go to school like a zombie because of lack of sleep. I've failed some of my exams. I've tried doing my projects while crying because of sudden breakdown. My journey so far was like a roller coaster ride. And I am still looking forward for more up and down moments.

This journey also lets me meet and know a lot of people whom I could lean on. People that I need in order to keep going. And I am grateful for them.

Who would have thought that I would make it this far? I am just a few steps away from the finish line. And I know that as I get nearer and nearer to the finish line, I will encounter big mountains but I am sure that I can make it through it by God's grace. It'll be all worth it at the end.

Also, I have learned to love what you are doing. Because when you love what you do, nothing and no one can stop you from doing it.

There are still times, where disappoinment will visit me but I never let it stay.

I am where I am destined to be. I may wander, but I am not lost.