Due to my latest decision to keep active on the chain and this uncomfortable feeling I can't seem shake off, I am going to try and do the impossible for my writer. Pen an inspirational piece.
I have been the most negative person I had ever met but my self awareness journey has seen me uncover a few admirable traits about myself which has in return helped my being welcome warmth and light in.
No one ever comes to this world enveloped in a melancholy mood. It is slowly accumulated thanks to life dishing out impossible circumstances to mere mortals. A chain of unfortunate events stalking some unlucky soul for years on end and finally managing to cripple it by robbing it the sense of pride in self.
Then comes the days, months or years of enduring anxiety and self doubt. When the voices screaming loudly inside take over and rule the shell of that soul with fear followed with one becoming their worst enemy. Inner critics are the worst!
I know all this because I have been through it over and over again. It is an infinite cycle that never really stops unless one decides to step out of it themselves.
My decision to break mine came a few years ago. Half of my brood wanted to come back home after close to a decade and that saw me fully recharged to live and thrive but then my health started making serious threats. A few months later, a fire broke out in my house rolled a dice on my life and almost had it. I lost so much that year actually but nothing drove me back to that place of intolerable darkness again.
I was still crawling towards light. Still fighting to regain control of my essence.
I started celebrating myself more. Engaging with like minded people and investing in meaningful relationships and conversations. Reading helped me too and still does to this day. It is my easiest escape from reality. A break from overwhelming situations. The where I run to hide. Just like writing.
Inner peace has been finding it's way here too...Thanks to intentionally learning how to exercise self love and saying no. Chaos have significantly reduced in my headspace. There is also some space to accommodate another broken soul. That is something there has never been room for.
I am thrilled to even add that the room is occupied. Something I was never expecting.
My journey has made me see my resilience with a fresh set of eyes. It has loudly brought out my love for family. My rebelliousness. My softer parts. My compassion fatigue. My interests. And my overall strength among other beautiful things that make up my mosaiced soul.
