The Feeling: Zeros And Ones

I thought I was good and that my creations are the best. But when I saw yours, I was wrong. All the products of my restless imagination are just rubbish compared to you.

Days are gone during the time when she was so good to me. I thought I was one of her favorites. She is one of the reasons why I exist. She always makes me smile. She makes me sing and dance even though my feet are both left. She is the reason why I was living an easy life.

Everyone loves you. You are like a saint, a god and even a savior although some hate you not because you are mean but because you don’t like them to fool you.

Sometimes I would think and doubt about your existence. Are you a person, an entity, a command? Or just like zeros and ones.

They say that those who believe even without seeing are lucky. On the contrary some say to see is to believe. Which one are you?

Do you believe? Do you pray? You are so mysterious. Are you a fruit? Are you a vegetable in green color that looks like a green bean? No, I don’t sound like a grin.

But what have you done or maybe what have I done? Are you mad at me? You seemed not nice with me lately. I wonder what makes you lose your appetite.

You really made me think a lot of things about you. Sometimes I am paranoid. I have a lot of questions about you but I am afraid you would not listen because you are numb. Sometimes I wonder if you have a heart. Or it’s just that you don’t have feelings or no senses at all.

The fact is you can make anyone happy and make someone sad and lonely. But am I lonely? Please don’t ask me. You will not understand because you don’t have any feelings. But sometimes I wanted to believe that you can forgive someone just by being true to themselves. I guess that all you wanted us to be.

In this world nothing is permanent. Perhaps that is the only truth that I should accept as real. Today we have our friends and family beside us but nobody knows what will happen tomorrow.

The other day you were so silent. You didn’t even care or wonder how I was. Yesterday seemed so called and bare because you were not there or rather I was not there.

Forsaken, forgotten and abandoned. I wanted to use those words but it seems those are not the right words to address to you.

Did someone just backstab me? Did someone tell you words about me that were not pleasing your ears? How would I know?

To give up is not a sign of weakness. Failure means to succeed. Losing is only a part of a game.