Living is probably harder than Dying

Now isn´t that great, sometimes a prompt just seems to know what I wanna write about but where I am struggling with the "How To".

Because How To tell you dear reader that I often think life is worse than dying without sounding suicidal?

But this is the opening I was given:
Is there something worse than dying? What is it and why do you feel it is worse? Explain your answer.

It might be me.
It might be the fact that we do reincarnate and I have died before.
It might be that I do not see life as the precious gift many others make it out to be.

But let´s get one thing straight, I probably spend at least half my life on this rock floating through space without ever....and I mean ewer considering taking my own life. Not as a teen in a melancholy drama phase. Not in my twenties when I messed up badly and F´ed with the one that got away.
Not when my ex left me took the kid and made me out to be the most horrible person on the planet after gaslighting me for years....In all honesty, I did not mind if she would die in that last year of our relationship.

As always dear reader I am brutally honest with you.

So if you ask me hurting my little toe is probably worse than dying, almost everything is probably worse than dying,

Then why keep on living?

Well if you read my personal stories posts you know that I have learned many lessons. The reason to keep on living is that based on what I learned I came to the following insight:

Life = School of Hard Knocks
We are here to learn. AND LEARNING HURTS.

Being human is a painful situation, we have weak bodies and we live among many predators, both mentally and physically.

Being Human vs Human being

The universe is almost endless and filled with energy. Now energy does not differentiate between good and bad, it´s both. Energy also does not equal harmony, it can be transferred to any state depending on how it´s formatted and manipulated.

Beings of pure energy are almost invulnerable, that changes 180 degrees when that energy is turned into something tangible. Tangible things are breakable things.

All life forms are tangible, therefore breakable, and therefore easy to hurt. The fear of being hurt and the impact of being hurt will drive these lifeforms to certain behaviors, some peaceful some violent.

It´s the mortality, the fear of being hurt, and the hurting experiences and how we deal with them that make us human.

Of course, I am not only showing you the dark side of the moon without talking about the bright side. Because for many lifeforms there is a bright side.

The Bright Side of the Moon

When we return to being energy, if we return, we will lose the power of manifestation. Or at least most of us will.
That means you will never wake up and smell the coffee.
You can never put your arms around the one you love.
Or even shed a tear of happiness.

Our physique brings us many pleasurable moments and I am not only talking about those very intimate ones.
Just tasting your favorite chocolate after months, smelling that scent that takes you back to your childhood, or just getting slightly drunk with your friends and laughing about nothing at all.

Once you are dead you might feel like smiling, but you never again will LOL.
At least not till you chose to be born again....if you even get that choice.

That is why I never ever felt like leaving this planet early. Just that ray of sunlight filtered by the clouds and witnessed with my human eye is an amazing experience.

But leaving that school of Hard Knocks also makes me not fear death, and I do have days I am looking forward to finding the peace in rest.

Lessons Learned

These lessons called life are not easy.
A wise man used to say life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you´re gonna get.

Which is very true. Life is supposed to be an uneasy balance, especially for those that have chosen to come back again.

Life is like any big task, they are just there to be completed and prepare you for the bigger task ahead. It´s that never-ending story.

Can you can choose to quit?

Of course you can.

You can choose to not return to a physical shape, and even during your time being a physical personification of energy you can choose to not learn a single lesson.

Unfortunately, that does not really please this curious bit of energy that makes me, me.

So when I go, it´s because it is my time. It´s because I learned the lessons I set out to learn this time around. And there are days I really look forward to that peace of mind, just like there are days I think it´s great to alive and smell the fresh mown grass while the sun tickles my nose.

The other part of the Question

So what is worse than dying is the second part of that little prompt that triggered this epic revelation.

Well the answer is probably about everything that does not put a smile on your face or in your heart.

There is so much pain and ugliness produced by mankind and the current way society is build up has forced many of us to live unnatural routines. Routines that cause us to loose touch with what makes us human. At the same time if you believe like me that life is just a learning curve, a phase you initiated for yourself there is not too much to fear about life our death.

Deep inside I fear excruciating pain for me and my loved ones, pain that humans inflict on eachother. That pain can be physical, but maybe the worst pain we can experience is the pain in our mind.

That pain that drives us insane, the pain that blindfolds us from the beauty of life.

If you ask me what is the worst that can happen in life, what is much worse than dying?

The answer would be:

Getting to that point where you are blindfolded from the things that represent the beauty of life.
And those that still see can support.
But in the end, they are the only ones that can take off that blindfold.

Thanks for the read!

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