There are always things in a person’s life that you feel sorry for. There is such a young hospice nurse Salem Diggs in Japan. After witnessing and hearing the regrets of 1,000 patients on their deathbeds, he wrote the book "24 Things You Will Regret Before Death". Today, I will take you to see what things are particularly easy to regret in your life.
Didn't do what You wanted to do
Salem Diggs said: "The most common thing people say before they die is, this life is too short." Some people sharpen their heads and climb up, some resign and return to their hometowns; some are self-sufficient and mediocre, while others are diligent. There are many ways to live in life. Don't be "kidnapped" by other people's values. Don't take the life others want you to live as the life you want. If you want to fall in love, do it now; if you want to learn something, do it now. Life is like a tour group. You have already joined. Wouldn't it be a pity if you don't complete the journey?
Did not realize the dream
When people look back at the end of their lives, they often find that many dreams have not been realized. "Real regrets are not because they didn't realize their dreams, but because they mostly blamed themselves for not being able to achieve their dreams with 100% strength." Persevering in dreams is a matter of "knowing easy and hard work". A dream with no deadline is just a dream. Adding a "deadline" to the dream and turning it into a realistic goal will make it easier to achieve.
I've done something sorry for my conscience
People can not escape from doing wrong? It is impossible to do nothing wrong for a lifetime. Even a Buddhist disciple who refuses to kill can hardly avoid stepping on an ant on the road. The “bad things” done in order to survive without the principle of damage can be forgiven. Instead of living with a sense of guilt, it is better to put down the burden and look forward.
Spend a lifetime driven by feelings
In real life, emotional people always laugh at rational people for “live too serious”. In fact, how can you care too much about your feelings? After laughing, crying, and venting, life will not change. Perhaps it will take the moment of death to understand how ridiculous and trivial it is to worry, pain, sadness, anger, and reach the limit of patience every day.
Did not try to help others
It is either indifferent or afraid of suffering, which makes many people afraid to be kind. In fact, kind-hearted people rarely regret it. They live calmly and at ease. That is the beautiful reward that kindness gives them. To help those who need you, the feeling of being "needed" is much better than "requiring."
Believe in yourself too much
We have all had such moments of arrogance and even self-respect, thinking that we do not regret anything we did. Although it looks positive, it seems blind. There are always things that others are more careful and thoughtful than you think. Listening to a sentence and thinking for a second can save you a lot of detours.
The property is not properly settled
There are more and more family disputes caused by property. In fact, as an elderly person, we must regard the disposal of property as an important matter, and plan it out while we are alive. If there are many children, the distribution must be fair. Don't hurt the feelings between the children because of the money.
Didn't think about what's going on
This is very similar to the disposal of property. A person alive will leave many marks. People and things around you will change because of your departure. Planning ahead will not only make you more comfortable accepting birth, old age, sickness and death, but also remind yourself to enjoy life. Don't wait until you can't walk or understand the words, only to realize that there are still many things left to do.
Did not return to his hometown
Everyone has a place buried deepest in his heart, but he never forgets that this is his hometown. Many people will talk about it and go back to my hometown when I retire. I often waited and waited, and finally returned home was an urn. For the rest of your life, try to go home every year, listen to the local accent, and eat some delicious food. This place that you cannot give up geographically is also a dwelling place for your soul.
Have never enjoyed food
Do you leave all the delicious foods to your children, because you are busy at work, you just spend every meal casually, or just eat so-called "nutritious" food every day for health? Eating is not only for satiety, it also meets many of our psychological needs. Tasting food is also a good spiritual healing. Also, don’t give up any chance to have a meal with your family. One day, the people at the dinner table will slowly disappear.
Spend most of the time at work
In this profit-seeking society, work, money, and power have become the gold standard for success. Many people regret it until they are old. How can such a good youth be dedicated to work? Look at nature, feel the changes of the seasons, listen to the call of art, these things will not make you rich, but will make your life meaningful.
I didn’t travel where I wanted to go
I have accumulated a lot of travel plans but failed to make a trip because the children are too young, the money is too little, the vacation is too few, or the work cannot be separated? Many people think that travel can be done at any time. Only the sick understand that travel is also a luxury.
I didn’t meet the person I wanted to meet
May be your favorite teacher in elementary school, it may be your first love, no one's life can be eternal, especially those who are older than you, even if you are in a different place, you can visit them specially. We should live with the concept of "one period, one meeting". This is the Japanese tea ceremony term. "One session" is a lifetime, and "one session" is a meeting. It means that every moment in life cannot be repeated, so every meeting becomes the only one.
Failed to talk about a love that will last forever
Love is also the proof that people live in the world. We often see that people who are together may not not love each other, but those who love each other are forced to separate. This is the impermanence of life, and we blame many people for not working hard. Love should be a kind of loyal and selfless giving, a brave and fearless expression. This is our right as human beings, and we must not just be a child's play.
Haven't been married all my life
Many people think marriage is optional when they are young, and they feel more comfortable alone. I started to regret it when I got older. There is no one who can support each other. Although good marriages are hard to come by, you have to work hard on your own. Don't hesitate to meet the right person. There will be no "most suitable" person in this world, and the "more suitable" person will not wait for you forever.
Had no children
Many people now think, “I’m still a child myself, how can I raise a child?” In fact, being a parent is not only to pass on blood, but also a kind of “proof of living.” Thinking of the joy of children and grandchildren in old age, what is the suffering of raising children when they are young?
Did not see the child getting married
Some children think that "not getting married" is their own private matter and has nothing to do with their parents. On the contrary, the biggest regret for many elderly people is that they did not see their children getting married. Marriage is indeed a private matter, but sometimes, not getting married is a "selfish" matter. You might as well consider from the perspective of your parents, and work hard but they regret it.
Did not pay attention to health
When you are young, your body is the most squandering capital. Staying up late, drinking, smoking...Health is such a thing. When you have it, you often don’t feel its existence. When you lose it, you discover that it is so important. . From now on, try to get rid of some bad habits and live a healthy life for yourself and the people around you.
Did not quit smoking
Many cancers and chronic diseases are related to smoking. Many patients did not start to regret not quitting smoking early until they were diagnosed with lung cancer. Many people smoke cigarettes with a fluke and feel that bad luck will not fall on them. It takes courage and dedication to restrain desire, but your dedication will be returned to you in a "healthy" way.
Did not express his true will
We are afraid of offending others, of causing trouble to others, and caring about what others think of ourselves, so we ignore our true wishes invisibly. In fact, no matter when, you should tell what you really think. As long as you are willing to communicate, you will find that things are much simpler than you think.
Has not left evidence that he has survived
Many people think that leaving a house and property is evidence of survival, but it is actually wrong. Since I have walked through this world, there should always be some spiritual food for future generations. Whether it is work, research, academic achievements, or letters to relatives and friends, it is all such "evidence."
Did not see through life and death
To see through life and death does not mean to belittle life, but to live in a more rational manner. Chinese people are often taboo to talk about death. In fact, death is just the common way home for all lives. There is no taboo, let alone fear.
No faith
Although many people live well without faith, those who have faith will understand the meaning of life more thoroughly. Especially when faced with hardship and helplessness, faith can become a powerful healing power.
Did not say "thank you" to someone you love
Many times, we are polite outside, but we have no scruples when we talk to close people. Using good language is a college question of interpersonal communication, even if you are close to you, you don’t have to be shy. Say "thank you", "sorry" and "I love you" often. This is the best way to keep your feelings warm.