@Bilqees 25 January 2022

Weighing advices Hello my beautiful friends and readers , trust you all had an amazing Tuesday. **THANK** **YOU** I remember some two years ago, I boarded a public transport on my way back home from the market. There were already two women who entered the bus before I did. A older woman and a younger lady who wouldn't be four or five years older than me. I took a brief glance at them and I instantly knew they were mother and daughter. I greeted them and took a seat in front of them. They were obviously engrossed in their conversation anks they took little notice of me. They were interacting freely in a different African language and were completely oblivious that I understood the language too. The woman was advicing her daughter : "Any man that comes to you for a relationship or seek your hand out in marriage, make sure you first of all, ***weigh*** him very well before you accept him". Now from what I understand of that language, the woman was literally telling her to to consider the financial status of a man first, before she agrees to befriend him. I wasn't surprised in the least. In my part of the world, I have heard and seen women giving each other worse advices. I dont know weather a father will give his daughter such an advice . No doubt, the mother was "that kind of woman". The yoing Lady's life might be in total disarray in the near future if she strictly adheres to her mother's advice on marrying a man who have nothing to offer except money. An Islamic scholar once said: " *As* *a* *man*, *the* *best* *gift* *you* *could* *ever* *give* *to* *your* *unborn* *daughters* *is* *to* *marry* a *virtuous* *woman*, *whether* *beautiful* *or* *not*". "A *woman* *will* *always* *listen to* *the* *advice* *of* *her* *mother* *rather* *than* *that* *of* *her* *father*. *Your* *daughters* *would* *always* *follow* *in* *their* *mother's* *footsteps* *both* *in* *your* *presence* *and* *in* *your* *absence* . *Even* *a* *man* *can* *be* *easily* *influenced* *by* ***his*** *mother* *or* *wife*" I pondered on this for a while as I looked around me, I found that this words were not far from the truth. Women are generally influenced by the women around them including the ones they see on their screens . A woman might listen to the advice of her father or husband but at the end, she would follow the advice of a friend or sister. Generally speaking, it is important that we sit down and think things on our own and think them through. Weigh all the advice's that you get and come up with the best one. Sometimes, we hear an advice from someone we think we could trust, then we hear that same advice from another reliable person and before long, multiple individuals begin to re-echo that particular advice. Then you invariably, come to a conclusion that "this is the best advice for me", especially when they are coming from the people you trust like a parent, partner, sibling, friend or colleague. Then, you become quite sure that things will never be a mistake while applying such advice. Instead of going with popular opinion immediately, why not try to assess things on your own with your God- given brains. After all, you are the one in the shoes and you alone know how it really feels and how it shall feel like in the near future. When one always follow the minds of others instead of one's own, at the end, one might become unfulfilled. Things might even get complicated in the future. When this happens, one wouldn't remember who to blame, but oneself. Aside that, the people who had urged one to tow that particular path might find an excuse to save face and would even claim that one forgot a very important piece of information in their advice, and thats why it failed. Lol. Funny enough, such persons would still come around to advice one on a new decision all over again, and the cycle continues. One begins to wonder how someone could claim to know all about how others should live their lives but fail to apply such "valuable advice " to better their own lives. I have also observed that a lot of young enterprenuers and ambitious folks cling to the words of thier idols and use them in assessing their every step, decisions and thought processes in life. Indeed, its recommended and advisable for young people to have an exemplar in their chosen field and adhere to the principles of success of this path. But I have also observed that a lot of successful enterprenuers, captains of industries and entertainment icons had always had a secret recipe which they never reveal to the public. They'd hammer on hardwork, determination, discipline, focus...... but would still hold in on the most important ingredient that worked most for them As we grow older, I believe we should listen more to our own minds and trust our instincts while shutting our ears and hearts to outside noises. Listening and understanding your being is a valuable sskill that can make you rich, not only in wealth, but also in body amd soul. ********************************** Thank you for staying with me. Yours lovely, Bilqees.