@BibimoVee 15 November 2020

Pressures and depression. Mostly, if not all of us, must have an experience with depressions and pressures from our families. A place where we should feel safe and sound. People that we should rely on for everything, but some it doesn't turn out the way we want it to be.

Ever since I was just a kid, my parents always want me to compare to everyone else. They have high expectations from me because they want me to take over and grow our mini grocery store and expand it throughout our province. My name is Biboy, and in this article, which is my first time publishing here, I will be sharing my experiences in with pressure and depression. From my Daycare days until I was in highschool, I consistently managed to be the top student in every year in my class. I tried to understand my parents even though they are pressuring me and giving me depression. I always have a wide patience for them because I love them so much. Even if I am having a hard time in school, I always try to think positively for me to go on in my life. When the day comes for my college days to begin, I was so excited to meet new events, friends, happiness and everything else. I have expected that my life in college days will be different and there will be no pressures as I am far away from home. But I was wrong. Every weekends, my father and my mother always visit me in my apartment to check if I'm doing good, not in myself, but in my study. Like I was in middle school, they always ask me show my papers in quizzes, activities and homeworks to see if my grade is enough to be recognized. When my marks is below their average, which should be 94/100 points, they will start ranting, scolding and sometimes shout at me. They always want me to be reminded that I should be the one to take over their business and I must do the very best. During my second year in college, because I can not hold my feelings anymore, I became prone to bad habits. I started drinking, smoking and even take abusive drugs just for me to take away the pressures and depression I have. I started to skipped classes and even if I attend to it, I was only in the back row, if not thinking for something, sleeping. I didn't care anymore. I was not minding what will happen to my marks. I was feeling empty that time, it feels like I have no more purpose in my life. Alone, with no one else to lean on. My family knew my situation. They immediately came and take me from my apartment while being drawn in alcohol and drugs to take home. At that time, I was expecting them to feel pity for me show an act care, but they did not. Then I heard them uttered this words, "Let's take him to a Psychologist, he must be cured or else no one will take our business and make it grow". Upon hearing those words, something feels like burning up inside my head. Then I shouted loudly, I saw a wooden chair and quickly grabbed it and smashed it to the ground. I was so angry. How can they care more for their business over their own child? I smashed and smashed everything I saw around me. Our house became a mess because of my rampage. Then I saw my mother and father looking at me, they looked scared. The tears in my mother's eyes says a disappointment towards me. Then I just suddenly realized everything, what I did was a wrong act in front of my parents. I tried to get near to them to say I was sorry. I cried while slowly walking towards them, but I was shocked when they run away from me. I tried to run after them, just to make things up. But when I went out from our house after them, police were pointing guns to asking me to surrender. And I did, and I came with them peacefully. Three months had passed since the scenario happened. I was in a rehabilitation for almost 3 months for me to recover myself. Since then, everything has changed. My parents are not talking in front of me about the business anymore. They didn't care so much anymore about my grades. They are not pressuring and giving me depression anymore. They decided already, to let me do what I want to do. *Everything in the story was made in fiction.* This is my first article about life and I hope you like it. All Images are from **Unsplash.com** https://unsplash.com/photos/yi6dvuynEuo Please leave a like and subscribe ❤️