I'm 25, He's 22.

When it comes to intimate relationships, there is this notion that has gotten too popular- being with someone, OLDER than you, right? Hahaha. Like when you tell your friends you have a boyfriend/girlfriend, they would automatically ask, "how old is he/she? And when you tell them he/she is olddr than you, they would give you that side comment that points out this age standard. Well, I would say that it has been my guiding standard when I was still unmarried, (but was oftentimes not met), because as we all know, when the heart sees that spark, it falls for it, forgetting the supposed standard the head holds. When the heart speaks, it mutes out all the sanity the mind has? Would you agree? I bet you would.

When I met my husband, it was a complete opposite to that age standard. I was 24 and he was 21. I feel in love with his eyes, so to speak, but much more than that, I fell in love with his perspective in life and his care and love towards me. Not to mention that he is multi talented- plays chess greatly and sings beautifully but I only knew that when we were nearing marriage. Of course, it was not an easy journey for me, and maybe for him too. And just like what I have mentioned above, when I introduce him, people would make side comments like," Oh so you're older than him",and in those scenes, I feel awkward as I nod and say yes. There was even this unforgettable experience where I was asked if he was my younger brother. It happened when we were riding on a tricycle and he came off before me, the driver asked if he were my younger brother and I just nodded and said yes, because Im tired of explaining things. Hahahaha. I guess that was the worst. I did not like it due ng those times. But then again, breaking up just because I dont want to be asked about who's older would be a crazy idea because there are so many things that outweighs that issue about age.

When we were officially engaged which was after a year of dating (and seeing each others tantrums haha), I could feel his family's doubt, not on us nor on me, but on his capabilities to rear a family because at that time, I was 25 and he was 22. And again that strong reason of marrying someone older than me came knocking on the door again. My mind reminded me that if I marry someone who's older than me, that would mean I will be marrying someone that is employed and is established. But then again, finding someone who is well established in life and someone who loves and cares for you are two different things. They sometimes dont happen all at once, not at least for me. And so, the heart still won during that time of reconsideration.

And yes, we finally got married, ours was not a rush decision. I was not pregnant or something and the main reason why we got married young was because, it was something we have been taught of, "get married as soon as you find someone who's bad sides you can handle and build a righteous family to the Lord". And so,even when it seemed to me a little bit an against all odds scenario, we did got married. And I realized that my experiences of dealing with awkward moments of answering questions as to who's older has taught me that love sees beyond the awkward, dull, and ugly moments of courtship period. It sees beyond age. It sees beyond tantrums. Love sees what eyes fails to see because it looks inside the heart of the person we choose to love. Love looks into their strengths and hidden abilities that were waiting to be unleashed in its own due time.

We are now on our second year of marriage, and has been blessed with a cute little princess. As days roll on, I come to see why people had that notion of being in a relationship with someone older than us. I realized that the underlying reason behind that is, we believe that when we have someone older than us, that means we're the baby-the younger one that needs to be taken cared of. And I guess that too is the reason why I had that age standard way back. I wanted to be taken cared of, I wanted to be the little princess in a relationship. I wanted to be the little baby, because all my life I feel like I was running and keeping things together and I longed for rest and care from someone else way back. But now even though my husband is younger than me, I can honestly say he loves me. He cares for me and our princess, He has some lapses-yes, but that is outweighed by the love and effort he gives us. Something I know I wouldn't find somewhere in other people's arms.

With him, I realized that there is one important thing aside from the age standard that a woman should look for in a partner, and that is Fidelity. No care and love can compensate the heartaches and sorrows caused by infidelity. Would you be willing to follow your age standard for the sake of not being laughed at during the courtship period and then endure a lifetime of maltreatment and heartaches? Think again. 🙂

So if you are young and is considering marriage, an age is just a number while fidelity is a true gem.