If you think Parenting is a cakewalk, think again

When I was single, there was a tendency for me to be so quick at saying " how did your parents raised you? " Why are you like that?"

Now that I am a parent I realized how disheartening that statement could be, especially when a parent hears it from people who doesn't know everything. Like the old single me, people are so quick to judge a parent based on a child's behavior. Today I seek to share my perspective on parenting and how demanding and crucial it is.

Kids are the Best Imitator

One time, I was cooking in the kitchen and I let my one-year old daughter watch her favorite Cocomelon series so she would sit still and I could do make breakfast. I would glance at her every now and then to make sure she will not fall off from the chair. And as I do so, I noticed that she imitates what she sees in the laptop. She would clap her hands when she sees the characters clapped theirs and I was amazed not just on this single occasion but on countless ones where I have proven that despite her age,she is a great imitator. She would imitate me when I am angry, she would imitate me when I am happy. She would even imitate her Dada when he sings. Drawing from those occasions, I realized that if I am not careful with my actions when she is watching, I may end up teaching her through my acts,things that are not right. From that day on, I tried to be as conscious as possible, knowing that my daughter will be influenced by my actions. Aside from me being careful with my actions and attitudes towards my daughter, I also try to avoid being near with people that may influence my child badly. Though this is something that I may attract criticisms, its totally okay with me if people think I am too much at protecting my child, after all, as they say,"My child, My rules." If I think avoiding people who will be bad influences is helpful for the early development of my child, then I can and will withstand criticism for her sake.

Saying No, Should mean No

A parent's heart is so tender when it comes to a child's in pleading. One very tearful eye while pleading over a a sharp toy would send a mom's heart into complete torment. But when Mama says no, it should be no! Why? Because this would create a strong impression on their young minds the rules that they need to stick so that they will stay safe and secure. No parent I think would impose a rule to harm a child. Now, when a child understands that when Mama says no it's because it can harm them, they will build up that foundational knowledge that it is actually out of love why rules are reinforced.

Now, if you think its that easy to say no yo your baby with tears running down their cheeks. Think again.

One wrong thing your child does in public makes you a bad parent.

Hahahaha. This by far is the one that I am so giddy about. I remember when I was a child, and by the way I am a child that won't sit still. I love playing so much that sometimes its used against me. Like, people made me think I am a bad kid for playing a lot. Hahaha . But yeah, it was like that, and when I tend to do things that I never learned from my mama, like when I punched a kid who made fun of my hair, people took that as something that my mother taught me even though she didn't. You see, people are so quick to think that everything a child knows came from their mommas or papas. Ah-uh, no. The critiques always forget that we got neighbors and peers whom are also very influential. And I think that's where I learned how to punch a guy who badmouths girls. Hahahaha. Sorry. I didn't mean to hurt him. And so, now that I am parent, I realized how hurtful it is to hear someone tell my husband that we should train our daughter right by doing this and this and that... Man, my baby is just a year old. She is not a prodigy to learn the do's and don'ts of a society in her first years. But seriously, it hurt me.

Now, back to the first sentence at the beginning of this article, if you think parenting is a cakewalk, think again. Because, the only way for you to see the trials and triumphs of parenting is by becoming one.

If you are single and you are like the old me who was so quick to criticize a parent through a child's misbehaviour, please stop.. if you are a parent and you are frustrated in raising your child right, be kind to yourself, no one is perfect in parenting but those who try and give their best, always end up being the best parent! Now, if you are that parent who loves looking at their neighbour's way of child rearing, waiting for a chance to find a loophole, I have a two-word sermon for you- STOP IT.

All words are from my cabin of thoughts and words. 
Written: October 28,2021
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