Hilarious Quotes
1. Dating two short ladies isn't cheating, because 1/2 + 1/2 is equal to 1.
2. If your wife's parents and relative dance too much on your wedding day, just know that she have a child somewhere which you don't know about.
3. In africa the only warning they take serious is "Low Battery"
4. My sister, if the only time he comes to see you is in the night, then know you're dating a mosquito.
5. If you see a married man online at 2am. Please don't text him, its his wife doing patrol at that time.
6. How can a man without an international passport tell you that you are the most beautiful girl in the world and you believe him, where in this world has he ever been to?
7. Nobody have the lowest voice than a man who is asking for a girl's number in a taxi.
8. when a beautiful lady lacks brains it's her private part that suffer the most.
9. If you find yourself attracted to school girls, then buy your wife a school uniform.
10. While your mother is praying for you to live long on earth, you are in your boyfriend's room shouting "baby kill me". Please stop confusing God.
11. No body can walk faster than a man escorting an ugly woman early in the morning.
12. Marrying a teachers is fun, but l pity women who are married to them because when washing their clothes, you will only find pieces of chalk and list of noise makers and late comers instead of money.
13. When a stingy man is looking for a wife, any girl who ask him for money is not a wife material.
14. It's only in South Africa where an illiterate villager thinks that a qualified medical Doctor from another African country is the reason for his or her unemployment.
15. When your clothes are made of cassava leaves, make sure you don't carry a goat as a friend.
16. Girls are like mangoes when you're waiting for them to ripe, other men are busy eating them raw with salt.
17. The total number of prophets in Nigeria has outnumbered the number of prophets found both in new and old testament.
18. If you cannot support your girlfriend financially, let her cheat in peace, my brother you can't be broke and wicked at same time.
19. Africans have the longest period of s£x, which is 30 minutes. But the first 29 minutes are used for begging and then the remaining 1 is for the real show.
20. It takes a man ten seconds to remove clothes from a lady which took her 2hrs to dress.
21. If you are taking your girlfriend out and she brings her friends along, just take them straight to church and register all of them for deliverance.
22. If money grow on trees woman will not mined dating monkeys.
24. Africans have no time to rest, even after death, they still work as ancestors.
25. Don't play with someone who bleeds fo
27. Marrying a beautiful wife is like planting a corn by the road side.
28. Sleeping without money in your pocket is very risky, what if you enter a taxi in your dream?
Share this to your contacts to put a smile in someone's face.
*I came across my neighbour's daughter on Facebook today, but looking at her pics and comparing it's to her real personality make me believe Eve was the one that deceived Adam not the snake.*
If you know, you know.
*Dating your classmate is not a problem. The problem starts when teacher announces the math results.*
Chaiiiiii, how you fontanel look at her face?
*I was really stressed up in church when I sat beside one guy with mouth odour. In fact when the pastor was calling those with demonic spirits to come to the altar, I went there just to leave that place.*
What a relief I had on the alter.
*The pain of speaking English then your mouth decide to round it off to the nearest nonsense.*
You murder the English finish.
*Ladies stop editing your pictures. What if you got missing? How can we find you? You look like Beyonce or Rihanna on DP and in reality you look like Emmanuella.*
Lemme come and be going.
*How Old were you when you discovered that "MR" means Matured and Responsible?.*
*And "MRS" means Matured, Responsible and Submissive.*
_A) Long time ago_
_B) Sometime ago_
_C) Just now_
Sincere answer please.
*My sister, if you are dating a soldier, please change your relationship status to "Military zone, keep off" and save us civilians from beatings.*
I nearly died last night.
*Convincing a lady who came to visit you to leave the sitting room and enter the bedroom is a skill that should be added to a man CV.*
It's never easy oooooooo.
*If I say "Text me when you get home" and you decide to call instead, you will keep on calling until you understand English.*
My people, is that classified as wickedness?
*Heart break is when your newly wedded wife is in the kitchen preparing dinner and she asked "honey how many maggi should i put in the pounded yam?"*
Chaiiiiii, its heart scatter mpo.
*My sister, if you are dating a soldier, please change your relationship status to "Military zone, keep off" and save us civilians from beatings.*
I nearly died last night.
My brother came home after smoking weed.
He sat in the parlor where my Dad is watching news, he kept staring at my Dad for like 15mins, he finally asked “excuse me sir, don’t be angry can I ask you a question”?. Dad said yes & he said “you look very familiar, have we met before?”