Before I Go to Bed III

So. Nothing happened on February 16. Not yet. But again - there are predictions of an escalation in the upcoming days or the next week. Go figure. I have no idea what their "unpredictable" plan is but all of this is getting them something and that something is overall numbness in people. How long can one be afraid of every loud noise, every siren, even every Twitter notification?

This constant threat with all the "be aware" dates creates a numb sensation. At least while you are afraid, a sense of awareness is present and you are somewhat prepared. But when our calendars are marked with different dates of possible threats, how long can you stay alert?

I can only share how it is for me here, in the Baltic state region. My family and I are alert. We follow the local and the international news. But. We are also tired. Just like in a school with a bully - you do everything in your power to never cross them, to keep out of their way. We have done that for quite a while now. For what? The scenario of war is still happening. It is waiting for us behind every corner. A sick game of lives.

Not everyone is ready to run or hide. Not everybody has the means. No extra income to create a safer nest in some other place. What should we do then? I've been talking to people around and the overall feeling is the same - No backup plan in a naive hope that we will be safe. That, yes, it would be nice to have somewhere to go if something happens but there just is no place like that. People have a home here. Here. Where they have lived their best lives, created memories, and raised children. If you don't have relatives in a safer place in the world, no money, or your health is not what it used to be, what do you do? Probably stay where you are and protect what you've got, right?

Imagine a home that your ancestors have built. You've lived in it your whole life. You've told stories about how your grand grandparents sold a horse to get land for their first family home. Built it with their own hands. A place your family has called home forever. How do you leave it behind? How do you pack a small backpack and leave for the unknown when your whole life is left behind for some ... with bad intentions. In an ideal world, everything would stay the same. In an ideal world, a home where we have grown up would be a given. In an ideal world, we would feel safe and secure in a place we live at. This is not an ideal world I guess.

I feel for Ukraine so badly. I know nothing about politics and the world's plans of taking action, I bet you can find enough about this online. I am speaking from my heart as a fellow human. As someone who feels for every new development and feels for every soul out there. No, I am not in Ukraine and maybe it is not my place to speak out, but if you are, I bet the whole world is keeping you in their thoughts and prayers. You don't deserve this. I hope the best for you and your family.

Why am I so afraid? Read about it in my first article.

Appreciate what you've got and... sleep tight,
BIGTB