Treat Yoself
You should treat yourself with at least as much respect as you treat your guests.
You know how we clean up our homes before we have company over? Why do we do that? Just have some company over and you'll become acutely aware of all the junk lying around, how the vacuum should be run, there's clothes that should be put away, beds that should be made, and if you're being honest with yourself you should open some windows and light a pumpkin scented candle. My question is: why are we more aware of these things when company is over than when we're alone?
You might say you want your company to feel welcome, you don't want them to feel disgusted by their surroundings, maybe you even go above and beyond and you want your company to feel lit by their surroundings, dilated by decorations or feng shui. And that's fine that you want to do that for your company, honestly, I find it admirable, but that begs the question of the topic I actually want to talk about.
Isn't it funny that you do those things for your guests but not for yourself? If you have company over do you prepare special food? Arent you deserving of that specialness as well? Jordan Peterson's 2nd Rule for life is "Treat yourself like you are someone you are responsible for helping." In his book he details how people have a hard time treating themselves well. They often can't even be bothered to take their prescribed medications. They often treat their pets better, remembering their prescribed medications, researching nutritional information about their food and providing regular exercise. The question is why can't they treat themselves at least as well as their pets? There is some underlying low self-esteem at the root of this phenomenon. But I want to take it to the next step. Once you're able to treat yourself at least as well as you treat your pet, you now need to recognize that you also treat your guests better than yourself. I think you're just as deserving of a clean room, a delicious meal, and of being dilated by your surroundings as your guests, and I think its odd if you don't treat yourself with this level of respect.
Maybe you're scared of being, God forbid, "selfish". What would selfishness look like though? Selfishness would be unduly treating yourself better than you treat others. My modest proposal is only to stop disrespecting yourself by treating your guests better than yourself. Selflessness is the true vice here, being without a self isn't healthy. Imagine you have a group of four friends that come over to your home once and a while and you routinely make an effort to treat three of the guests to a good time but deny the fourth. This is what it looks like to me when a good host neglects themselves. Instead I want you to aim for self fullness. You shouldn't be empty of yourself, evacuating whenever it might benefit others, instead be present. Treat yourself at least as well as you treat your guests.
I want to thank both Jordan Peterson and James True for influencing my thoughts on this topic.
