The pain would be worth it for the day of fun ahead. Pushing and pushing while keeping a mental eye on the clock. "Didn't I hear this was dangerous or something?" I ignored any such thought and began aggressively shaking my stomach. I had 1 minute to empty my volcanic bowels before the buses would leave to the water park. I finally realized I'd have to haul the cargo with me and deal with it when I got off the bus. So, I pulled up my blue nike bathing suit and ran to join my friends. The ride there was decent, joking around while intermittently going silent to gauge the precise location and time estimation until I could release the Kraken. Dismounting the bus, getting my entry bracelet, and entering the park, I started to sweat. Nobody noticed anything so I continued to walk as if nothing was wrong. Then it happened.
A member of my bunk noticed that the line for the best ride, the Colorado Rapids, normally a 45 minute wait was empty. To my chagrin, all my bunkmates excitedly exclaimed "Wooooo let's go!" At that moment, I could hear a dull noise from my abdomen. Look. It's not easy when you're 14 to decide between the freaking Colorado Rapids with no wait or going to the toilet. So, we all know which I chose.
To give you an idea, you get a tube that 8 people sit in, butt on the floor of the tube, arms spread out behind you. The water shoots the entire tube down a long winding hill with bumps and turns. There was just no chance of it going right. Someone was going to have a bad time. So, when I got into the tube i crouched with by butt hovering an inch off the ground with my feet planted below to keep my up. I just tried to play it cool and say it makes the ride better. Okay. So, the tube zooms out from the starting area and we are off. I literally couldn't breath. It was like pushing a popsicle in and out of the wrapper. I was looking for a brown pool to start forming in the tube at any second. After what seemed like and hour, we came to the bottom of the hill and everyone exited the tube. I knew it was coming. Everyone started running up the stairs to get back to the main area of the park. I sat down on the stairs and destroyed them. It felt like a grainy dough being massaged on my hamstring. My face was contorting into a look of horror. My legs became straight and were raised to avoid the brown paint. Obviously nobody knew what was going on and thought I had fainted, and naturally approached me to see if I was okay. "Get the hell away from me, weirdos," I screamed to neutralize the situation. They replied with a look of confusion and just walked away.
I eventually stood up, felt a hefty mass in the netting of the bathing suit, and waddled to the bathroom. Locking myself in a stall, I stripped down and dropped the blue bathing suit into the toilet and began to wash it like a Russian woman in a river in 1764. It look 10 minutes, and when i was done, I had an excellent time at the water park. Wow, childhood memories. And to think, I am wearing the bathing suit right now 10 years later. And I'll never leave home with it. I love you, Sheila.