Jokingly frustrated at her inability to sway my mind to do her bidding, my friend blurted out that I think like a lady sometimes. I had a good laugh.
When my mum conceived me, she believed she would have a female child to balance the number in the family. So she bought female baby things, some of which I saw when I grew up and asked her why a particular ear ring has not been touched. That was when she explained to me what happened.
In those days, there was no medical equipment to see if a woman would deliver a male or female unless from surrounding circumstances.
In my own case; I didn't kick, disturb and caused any discomfort to her. In essence, she had signs all related to probably having a female child.
Only during the last days to when I would pop out and when I actually popped out did it become clear I was a male child.
My Igbo name, Somtochukwu is a gender neutral name since I was not a girl and I can't possibly be named Ada...LOL!
Asides being pampered as the last born of the family, I was mostly trained as a girl child. I learnt how to cook before I was 8 years old, always preferred following my mum to the salon than playing football with my fellow kids and learnt how to plait hair too. I did play with my fellow kids no doubt, but it was just so I could blend in well.
In retrospect, I liked this type of training and I dare say it shouldn't be gender specific. I'd like to train my kids to learn all these things.
With my mum and elder sisters ever ready to advice me, I had access to premium female advice and conversations quite early. It helped and continues to help me a lot in making different life decisions.
As an adult now, I am more empathetic in approaching any conversation bordering on gender roles in society, career and marriage. It is easier for me to see from both sides of the divide given my upbringing.
And if there is any truth you'll need to keep in your heart always, it is the fact that we all go through tough times, whether you are a lady or man.
Nothing is ever in white or black, so before you pass judgement or cancel anybody out for their choice of picking maybe marriage over career or vacation over savings, they may genuinely have a reason unique to them alone.
If you must speak, speak kindly. There is always another side you may never know.
