Sexual Trauma

In our culture, sexual harassment is shockingly widespread. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), about one out of every five women in the United States is raped or sexually abused at some stage in her life, often by someone they know and trust. This number is also higher in some Asian, African, and Middle Eastern countries. Sexual harassment isn't just a problem for women; many men and boys are raped and sexually abused every year.

Sexual abuse has far-reaching consequences that transcend physical injuries, regardless of age or gender. The experience of being raped or sexually abused can be life-changing, leaving you feeling terrified, humiliated, and lonely, as well as haunted by nightmares, flashbacks, and other distressing memories. The planet no longer appears to be a safe environment. You have lost faith in others. You don't really have faith in yourself. You may begin to doubt your own judgment, self-worth, and even sanity. You may blame yourself for what happened or think you're "dirty" or "damaged goods." Relationships are risky, intimacy is difficult, and you may suffer from PTSD, anxiety, and depression, as do many rape survivors.

It's important to note that what you're going through is a natural response to trauma. Helplessness, guilt, defectiveness, and self-blame are all signs, not realities. You will come to terms with what happened, recover your sense of safety and confidence, and learn to heal and move on with your life using these tips and strategies, no matter how daunting it might seem.

Tips for recovering from sexual trauma

Open up

Admitting you were raped or sexually assaulted can be very difficult. There is a stigma associated with it. It can make you feel unclean and helpless. You may be concerned about how others would respond. Can they pass judgment on you? Do you have a different perspective on you? It seems to be easier to minimize or conceal what occurred. When you remain silent, however, you refuse yourself assistance and perpetuate your victimhood.

It's a common misconception that if you don't speak out about your abuse, it didn't happen. You can't recover, though, if you're denying the facts. And hiding just adds to the humiliation. It will set you free, as frightening as it is to open up. However, particularly at first, it's critical to be careful about who you say. Someone who is compassionate, empathetic, and calm is your best bet. Speak to a friend or call a rape crisis hotline if you don't have someone you can trust.

Trauma makes you feel helpless and weak. It's important to remind yourself that you have talents and coping mechanisms that will help you get through difficult situations. Volunteering your time, giving blood, reaching out to a friend in need, or donating to your favorite charity are all excellent ways to restore your sense of strength.

You may feel less lonely and alone by joining a support group. They also give invaluable advice about how to manage symptoms and work toward recovery. Look for an online support group if you can't find one in your region.

Deal with Guilt and Shame

Even if you realize logically that you are not to blame for the abuse or sexual assault, you can still feel guilty or ashamed. These emotions can emerge immediately after an assault or years later. However, if you understand the reality of what happened, it would be easier to accept that you are not to blame. You did not initiate the assault, and you have nothing to be ashamed of.

Guilt and shame are often caused by myths such as:

• You did nothing to prevent the attack.

It's easy to second-guess what you did or didn't do after the fact. When you're being assaulted, though, your brain and body are in shock. You are unable to think clearly. Many people describe themselves as "frozen." Don't berate yourself for having a normal response to a traumatic event. In the face of adversity, you did the best you could. You would have avoided the attack if you had been able to.

• You put your faith in somebody you "shouldn't" have.

The breach of trust is one of the most difficult things to deal with after an attack by someone you love. It's normal to start doubting yourself and wondering if you've overlooked some red flags. Only keep in mind that only the assailant is to blame. Don't berate yourself for thinking your assailant was a good person. Not you, nor the assailant should feel guilty and embarrassed.

• You were either drunk or ignored caution.

Regardless of the circumstances, the victim is solely responsible for the attack. You didn't ask for it, and you didn't deserve it. Put the blame where it belongs: on the rapist.

Be prepared for disturbing memories and flashbacks.

When you are stressed, your body goes into “fight-or-flight” mode for a short period of time. Your body relaxes until the danger has passed. However, traumatic events like rape can cause your nervous system to become stuck on high alert. You're very responsive to even the tiniest stimuli. For several rape survivors, this is the case.

Flashbacks, nightmares, and disturbing memories are all too common, particularly in the months after the attack. They will last even longer if the nervous system is "stuck" for a long time and you develop post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

Re-establish a link with your body and emotions.

You may try to numb yourself or prevent any connections with the trauma because your nervous system is hypersensitive after a rape or attack. You can't, however, numb your emotions selectively. You shut down your self-awareness and potential for joy when you shut down uncomfortable sensations. You become mentally and physically detached, existing but not completely living.

Stay connected

Following a sexual attack, it's normal to feel alone and distant from others. You might be tempted to isolate yourself from social events and loved ones. However, it is important to maintain a connection to life and the people who care for you. Other people's support is critical to your recovery. But keep in mind that help does not imply that you must constantly speak about or reflect on what occurred. Having a good time and joking with people who care for you can be therapeutic as well.

Take care of yourself.

Healing from sexual trauma takes time and effort. It doesn't happen overnight, and the trauma's memories never fully fade away. At times, this can make life seem complicated. However, there are a number of steps you can take to deal with the lingering symptoms and lower your anxiety and fear.