One of the best things you can do for yourself is to learn to say no to others, but many people find it incredibly hard. Why? Because they are trying to be liked. The ironic thing is, if you say no when it's necessary, individuals will like you better and respect you more!
Why you need to learn to say no
1. People's going to respect you. People who say yes to something are easily recognised as pushovers in an effort to be liked. You let them know that you have limits when you say no to anyone. You prove that you have self-esteem—and that's how you win respect from others.
2. In reality, people will see you as more dependable. You can build a reputation for being trustworthy if you say yes only when you have the time and true ability to do a great job. If you say yes to it all, you're expected to do a poor job at it all.
3. You will sharpen your innate abilities when you're careful in your responsibilities. You'll be able to build on your natural abilities if you focus on the things you're good at. If you're a great writer, for instance, but you're not as great as an artist, you can volunteer to write speeches, but you shouldn't sign up for your club posters. Focus on your strength and improve your skills for college (and your experience).
4. It'll make your life less stressful. In order to please them, you will be tempted to say yes to individuals. You just hurt yourself and others in the long run when you do this. By overloading yourself, you stress yourself out, and when you know you're going to let them down, you feel increased stress.
When is the appropriate time to say no
You should never say no to your teacher, friend, or family who just asks you to live up to your obligations. It's not OK to say no to a class assignment just because, for some reason, you don't feel like doing it. In cockiness, this is not an exercise.
It's OK to say no when someone asks you to venture outside your real duties and outside your comfort zone to take on a risky job or one that will overload you and influence your academic work and credibility.
It can be very hard to say no to someone you really admire, but you can find that when you display enough bravery to say no, you actually gain respect from them.
How to say no
Because it's simple, we say yes to people. Learning to say no is like learning anything: it seems very intimidating at first, but when you get the hang of it, it's so satisfying!
Without being rude, the trick to saying no is to do it firmly. You've got to stop being wishy-washy.
When to say yes
There are moments that you would like to say no, but you can't. You have to take on some of the work if you are working on a community project, but you don't want to volunteer for anything. You should do it with firm conditions when you have to say yes.
If you know you can do something, a conditional "yes" might be appropriate, but you also know you don't have all the time or money. An example of a conditional yes is: "Yes, I'll make the posters for the club, but I won't pay for all the supplies."
Saying no is all about the acquisition of respect. In saying no when it's necessary, gain respect for yourself. Gain the respect of others in a respectful way by saying no.
