Conflicts

Have you been into an argument with your husband/wife/gf/bf or anyine that you love? Well this may help you find out why and how can you solve your conflict with others.

Conflict

Conflict is a natural part of any relationship that is healthy. Two individuals can't be expected to agree on all, all the time. The key is to learn how to handle it in a constructive way, not to fear or try to prevent confrontation.

It can do great harm to a relationship when conflict is mismanaged, but when managed in a respectful, constructive manner, conflict offers an opportunity to reinforce the connection between two individuals. Learning these skills will help you overcome disagreements in a healthy way, whether you are having tension at home, work, or school, and develop stronger, more fulfilling relationships.

Cause

Conflict starts from distinctions, both large and small. Whenever people disagree about their beliefs, motives, perceptions, thoughts, or desires, it happens. These discrepancies may seem insignificant, but a deep personal need is always at the root of the issue when a disagreement causes intense feelings. Such needs can range from the need to feel safe and secure or valued and appreciated, to the need for greater intimacy and closeness.

Think of a toddler and a parent's conflicting needs. The desire for the child is to explore, so venturing to the street or the edge of the cliff satisfies the need. But the need of the parent is to secure the protection of the infant, a need that can only be fulfilled by restricting the exploration of the toddler. Since these desires are at odds, conflict occurs.

Each party's needs play an important role in a relationship's long-term success. - one deserves consideration and respect. In personal relationships, distance, arguments, and break-ups can result from a lack of understanding of different needs. Different needs in the workplace will result in broken agreements, reduced income, and lost jobs.

It can contribute to innovative problem solving, team building, and better relationships when you can consider competing needs and are able to discuss them with compassion and comprehension.

Response

Do you fear or escape confrontation at all costs? You can expect all conflicts to end badly if your experience of conflict came from traumatic memories from early childhood or previous abusive relationships. Conflict can be seen by you as demoralizing, humiliating, or something to fear. Conflict may also be traumatizing for you if your early life experiences left you feeling weak or out of control.

It can become a self-fulfilling prophecy if you're afraid of confrontation. When you enter a situation of dispute that is already threatened, it is difficult to deal healthily with the issue at hand. You're more likely to either shut down or blow up in frustration, instead.

Resolution

Conflict causes powerful emotions which can lead to feelings of pain, disappointment and discomfort. It may cause irreparable rifts, resentments, and break-ups when done in an unhealthy manner. But it improves your comprehension of the other person, builds trust, and strengthens your relationships when disagreements are resolved in a healthy way.

You won't be able to recognize your own needs if you are out of contact with your feelings or so overwhelmed that you can only pay attention to a small range of emotions. This will make it impossible to engage with others and decide what is really bothering you.