Are you in doubt?

You've met someone new and things are making good progress. Great for you. You feel like an adult, you do all the "right" stuff, and all of a sudden, you feel that pit in your stomach. Those are doubts. In relationships, doubt is a common, normal, often sudden fear or uncertainty about the individual with whom you are. This is unavoidable and is not necessarily a bad sign.

But it was all going so well! And now why? Are we supposed to break up? Is she not right for me? Aren't I ready? Is he a wolf in the clothing of a sheep? Am I destined to be alone? Why has she got so many cats? Why doesn't he own a vacuum cleaner? Why is it that I ask so many questions? Am I freaking out? It's like I seem to be.

When they first surface, doubts can be scary. And, when the high of falling in love meets the truth that you and your partner may not be exactly made for each other, you know, like two peas in a pod, doubts typically raise their heads. Actually, you are two distinct and different individuals.

But doubt can also mean that your relationship moves to another stage of dedication where differences are worked on and development occurs. Unless you're letting doubt get the better of you. So, why is it that we doubt those we love?

Doubt is a routine reaction to change. Just as we doubt what a new job or movement might do to our lives, when things progress, doubts arise in relationships. When relationship graduates talk about moving in together or marriage, doubt is common. Simply talking to your partner about these changes can relieve stress; you may find that he or she feels the same.

Some doubts are an answer to stress. They can be our way of getting ready for new challenges. Sounding like these doubts: What if I'm still drawn to other people, is that a negative sign? But I don't like any of his or her mates too much. Really, are they my 'One'? Are we sexually truly a match? I am not aware about how he or she is handling their finances. Rather than things set in stone, these are viewpoints. They are problems that can change over time, or are sometimes just one side of the story.

On the other hand, are your questions really about the acts and attitudes of your partner towards you? In certain situations, suspicions in disguise are your problems and are not safe for you or the relationship. But as long as you face and consider them, you can always grow out of your doubts, and so can your relationship.

Doubt can mask fear. Sometimes, when there is a fear of intimacy, doubt emerges. If your concerns increase dramatically with each phase towards greater commitment, you may want to think about what you are afraid of. Perhaps a few therapy sessions, talks or a self-help book with your partner might be of some guidance.

Doubts will sabotage you. If you are afraid of intimacy, your subconscious might have reservations about driving your loved one away. It doesn't mean that they can leave. If they love you, and you love them, and you want to work on your problems, so who can argue that you can't get through this? Oh, no one. All is about knowledge and integrity.

Doubts from previous encounters may be leftover. Often we think that when we truly believe such things based on previous experience, we question our current partner. You may question that your partner really loves you if you have dated someone who was unavailable emotionally in the past. Or, if your former partner lied, you could have confidence issues. You have to get over these problems if you ever want to move on, but a caring partner is going to be there for and for you. But note, he or she doesn't belong to your past, and now you are cherished.

Doubts about healthy ties are assumptions about the relationship itself. If it's working, if it's the best one for you, whether the same future is what you both want. You should look at your relationship using the above article and determine what your concerns could mean about your relationship and how to handle them. And your partner's confidence in your suspicions. Odds are, he or she is still in question. Together, you will work through them. What better way to assuage and grow closer to your doubts? Esteem and contact. Works at all times.