1) Yes, you read the title correctly.
2) And yes, this story is completely fictional. Besides, even if it were real (which it absolutely is not), I very much doubt that I would reveal that information to you. But enough with that. Let's get into the story...
It started when I was entering my freshman year of college. I was totally on my own for the first time, living in a much bigger city than the one I grew up in, and I felt like the next four years in front of me were my opportunity to finally grow out of the box I'd been trapped in my whole life. See, I was never really the type of kid to do anything rebellious. Never got in trouble at school, never really got into fights with my parents, and I certainly never had been arrested--or even gotten a speeding ticket for that matter.
The point, though, is that when I stepped onto my new campus for the first time, I could've sworn I felt something physically stir inside me--something raw and guttural and almost primal, something that told me now was the time for change, now was the time to make something of myself and do something big and risky and bold. I didn't quite know it at the time, but that's exactly what I was bound to do over the course of the next eight months.
The first person I met at school was a guy named Mark. I was walking out of my dorm room after having just finished putting away all my stuff when I noticed this guy beckoning me from across the hall. After making sure it was me he was gesturing to, I walked over to where he was, in front of the doorway of what was presumably his room.
"Yo man!" he said enthusiastically, reaching out his hand to shake mine. "What's happening? The name's Mark."
"Hey, nice to meet you Mark, I'm Jonathan," I replied as I shook his hand (not that it matters, given that this is obviously a fictional story, but Jonathan is not my real name).
"Jonathan, sick. Hey listen, man," Mark said, beginning to noticeably lower his voice. "This might come off as a weird question, and if it is, you can totally just tell me to fuck off," he paused. "But you wouldn't happen to be the sort of guy who enjoys a little nose-candy every now and then, would you?" he asked, tapping his nostril as he said this last part.
Cocaine. I didn't know it at the time (we can thank the U.S. drug education system for that one), but it was cocaine that he was not-so-slyly referring to when he said this. A very dangerous, very illegal drug that I had next to zero knowledge of. But, not wanting to seem like a dumbass (such a great reason for doing things) and, of course, wanting to begin this new, riskier chapter in my life, I played along.
"Pssh, yeah," I half-laughed in a faux-knowingly manner. "I might happen to be the sort of guy who can enjoy a little nose-candy every now and then."
Now Mark was smiling. "Perfect, so check this. I'm throwing this little get-together tonight--it's gonna be fucking great, I've got beer, I've got liquor, and I've already invited a ton of babes I met around campus today. Only thing left I need is a little bit of that pure-grade cocaina to really spice things up."
I stood there listening, not sure at all where this was going or where I'd fit into the picture.
"So, listen," Mark continued, "I got this guy's number yesterday from some upperclassmen in Sig Chi. Apparently dude's got some really good shit. Like really good shit. Only problem is, you have to go to his crib to buy stuff from him. I don't know why, that's just how he operates apparently. So I was about to drive over there right now, and I figured it'd be better if I had someone with me, you know, just to be safe and shit."
So that's where I fit in. I was supposed to act as the co-delivery boy for this random guy's cocaine purchase from some other random guy who "apparently" had "really good shit." How exciting.
"So," Mark began to ask when I didn't immediately speak up, "you down to come with me or nah? We could go straight half-and-half on it, and you can totally pull up to the function tonight, too. It's gonna be awesome."
I'll be honest. Even though I had sorta made the decision to start becoming this bolder, riskier version of myself, I wasn't exactly thrilled by Mark's proposition. I mean, besides getting an invite to whatever Mark was throwing tonight (and something told me he had a way of exaggerating certain things like how "awesome" a "get-together" would really be), what did I even stand to gain from going to buy coke with this dude who had been a stranger ten minutes ago?
But then I realized that was the exact type of thinking I'd been engaging in my whole life--and that it was the exact type of thinking that would just keep me where I'd always been, safely in the comfort zone, unsatisfied, unfulfilled. I had to take a leap at some point. Why not now? So I did. I jumped.
"Hell yeah, man! I'm totally down," I finally replied to Mark, attempting to match his trademark coke-brand of enthusiasm.
"Perfect," Mark smiled. "Let's hit it, then. My car's in the parking lot right next to here. I think this dude's place is supposed to be like a ten or fifteen minute drive or something."
As we walked down the stairs to get to the first floor of our building, I suddenly felt this wave of apprehension pass over me. For a moment, I seemed to wise up and realize what I actually was getting myself into, and I even started to consider heading back to my room and just dropping this whole failed experiment. But, just as quickly as the feeling had come, it passed, and I continued walking towards the parking lot with Mark, my new partner-in-literal-crime it would seem. Looking back, if I had to chart it--like really pin it down to the exact day and hour and minute and second--that was it. That was the point of no return, the moment my life changed irreversibly--and I didn't even know it yet.
I think I'm gonna stop the story here for now. This is all turning out to be a lot longer and a lot more complicated than I had remembered it being before I started. It's also a little painful to write all this, what with having to dig up all these memories from what seems like a lifetime ago. It does feel a little cathartic, too, though. You know, getting it all on paper, clearing my head.
If you want, I'll continue, though. I've hardly scratched the surface of any of the really good stuff at this point, and of course we still have to get to when I sell a million dollars worth of acid...
But anyway, subscribe to my profile and consider donating if you want to hear the end of it. I think you'll like it. I know I sure did when I was living it. Till next time, everyone.
