The heart is no longer the same

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Avatar for Ayukyukyu2
9 months ago
Topics: Life, Problem, Hurt, Happy, Forgiveness, ...

Sometimes, when I think I know people. They let me down in ways I never imagined

Everyone must have experienced various events in life. Seems to be balanced. There are times when a person feels happy and doesn't have any problems in their life. But there are also times when a person feels at his lowest point when he is having problems. One of the problems that often arise and we experience is disappointment and heartache. Disappointed with those closest to us. From spouse, friends, family, co-workers, etc. What is certain, if we are in a disappointed position, surely we will feel angry, hurt, hate, maybe hold a grudge, find it difficult to forgive, even relationships that have been close so far may stretch, break up and drift away.

It is easier to forgive ordinary people than to forgive the wounds of those we love and trust.

This is what is called an expression of disappointment in someone who has hurt us, either intentionally or not. And that will surely cause feelings of sadness and heartache. Disappointment is an expression of feeling that arises when the expectations and results obtained do not match. It could be that this disappointment comes from yourself or from someone else

If it comes from ourselves, maybe we will feel defeated, weak, stressed, hopeless, and even cause depression. Likewise, if the disappointment comes from other people, even from those closest to us. We will feel betrayed, destroyed, painful and even disappointed and hurt that we feel more painful from people we know and are close to than other people who are not close to us. Feeling disappointed is very natural for every human being. Disappointment does not only happen to adults, but also teenagers to children. In today's instant-paced life, surely you have been let down by other people.

Sometimes, when I think I know people, they disappoint me in ways I never imagined

The above expression is our disappointment to others. From what we already know. Maybe it came from his own family. To be sure we feel disbelief if he could do that to us. Very sad people we trust. think he is kind and sincere to us. In fact betray and hurt us. Relationships that have been good so far are broken, broken, cracked. Sometimes we want to take revenge for what we have done, hold a grudge, curse at him, scold him or we are quite silent, stay away from him, act normal and just give in. At times like this, sooner or later people who have hurt and disappointed us apologize to us. What attitude do we choose to forgive or keep a grudge until the end of life?

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I have forgiven him but as you can see if the glass is broken even if it is repaired it will still come back intact as before, and regarding my disappointment, don't worry this heart will be fine again even if it takes a long time

The expression above is an expression of someone who wants to succumb to what happened, no need to curse or take revenge. He wants to make peace with the situation by FORGIVING BUT....!!!

Still hurt

Based on the explanation from Buya Yahya, who is a caretaker of da'wah institutions and Islamic boarding schools, Feeling hurt because of something said, behavior of others, and so on, is not pleasant. Feeling hurt even to the point of feeling hate in the heart, because of other people's actions.

In fact, hurt or not at the actions of others, comes back to oneself, considers the behavior as the cause of pain or accepts and doesn't care about other people's actions. Still Feel Hate Even After Forgiving. I've tried to forget and forgive other people's mistakes towards us, but if I remember those mistakes sometimes I still hate

Heartache and hatred, do not immediately disappear. But we are given the opportunity by God. When hatred arises, we try to fight it. Trying to fight, we keep smiling even though the heart hurts even it will be a reward from Allah even great in the eyes of others. We have forgiven but are still hurt and we fight, we don't want the hurt to appear on our faces, it means we are still normal. The pain that is stored in the heart, let the heart feel it. And pray that this pain will one day go away.

Everyone looked weakly at me, without having to explain what was wrong and what I lacked. It's painful even though everyone doesn't consider the strengths and abilities that exist in themselves, but believe me I can survive, I'm fine even though it's hard to rebuild a heart that has been broken because of disappointment

Can't forget

When we are disappointed and we don't want to reciprocate. And we succumb to forgive that person's actions and hope that they will not repeat their actions again. Many understandings state that forgiveness must be accompanied by forgetting.

According to a National Motivator of Leadership & Happiness, Arvan Pradiansyah stated that forgiveness and forgetting were not one package. Forgive but if you can't forget it. It's okay and doesn't need to be forced. Just being willing to forgive means you want to win our hearts. Arvan Pradiansyah also stated that there are types of people from the way he forgives.

  • The first type is the type of person who does not forgive and does not forget. People who take this way will feel there is no peace and happiness in their souls

  • The second type is the one who forgives and also forgets. ‚ÄúThat's a nave person". Forgiving him is right, but the person who forgets it means he will have a tendency to experience the same thing in the next opportunity

So the most appropriate step is to forgive people, but not forget them, because someone needs to take lessons from painful events.

Forgiveness means treating hurt feelings, without having to forget the events that occurred. What is called forgiveness is to heal feelings and heal wounds. But the incident must be remembered. Not forgetting does not mean not sincerely forgiving, but instead becomes a lesson so as not to be harmed a second time

Forgiving does not have to forget because God created us with a very wide memory space

Keep your distance (not familiar anymore)

Forgiving someone who has hurt our hearts and feelings. often not an easy thing. There is a feeling of disapproval when we just forgive him. But if we don't forgive, we will be tortured by ourselves because we actually hold a grudge.

Sometimes the best way to forgive someone is to stay away from them. It's not meant to be selfish or self-defeating. It's just that sometimes this is the best way so that no more hearts are hurt.

  • Keeping Distance Can Be a Way to Make Peace

    Not everyone can forgive easily and quickly. Sometimes it takes longer to reconcile. By keeping our distance we can have more free space. A space to be able to calm down and escape from him who had hurt him.

  • Keep Your Distance Doesn't Mean Enmity

    Good relations are maintained. But you really have to be more careful, don't let you get hurt again because of his hurtful behavior. Keeping a distance here does not mean hostile. Be more careful, so that past mistakes don't repeat themselves. At the same time prevent him from making mistakes or inflicting the same wound on you

Needs Sincerity

Maybe you have also often heard that to forgive we need sincerity. The only problem is that sometimes it is not easy to be truly sincere. We need time and a process that is sometimes long enough to be truly sincere. And by keeping our distance, at least we can use the space to learn sincerity.

For those of you who have been hurt, may you be healed in the best way possible. Let him who ever hurt you away from you for a moment. For your good too, sometimes we need to keep our distance to be able to heal all wounds.

For those of you who have been hurt, disappointed, betrayed, hurt. Your choice in yourself to forgive in your own way or to hold grudges to avenge your disappointment. Make peace with the situation or keep your pain into a grudge

When our hearts are no longer the same as those that used to be so close to us. We trust him because we think he is good and sincere. Whoever he is, believe me you are a wise person, unpretentious and God is always with good and sincere people

Source image from Pinterest.com

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Avatar for Ayukyukyu2
9 months ago
Topics: Life, Problem, Hurt, Happy, Forgiveness, ...

Comments

Forgiving people we love when they hurt us is surely the hardest thing, I've had my own fair share of this

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9 months ago

Difficult because we trust let alone very close. Finally we want to forgive because we want our hearts to be calm

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9 months ago

Although it is difficult to forgive, but you have to do it because it is the best thing you should do when you are hurt. Replying will only make you fall into more pain.

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9 months ago

Agree. We just want to make peace and take it easy with the situation. Forgive but if to be close like before it will be difficult

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9 months ago

It is true that when we are in a state of disappointment, it often interferes with our activities, even though there are people who come and try to give us input, it is often difficult for us to listen to them because in a bad heart condition we find it difficult to accept other people's input.

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9 months ago

Different people have different characters when they give their opinion about our problems. There are those who accept there are those who take what we say is just nonsense. That's why it's important to be calm when dealing with a problem so it's not rash and makes us regret it

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9 months ago