Don't feel the most hurt, try to introspect yourself first

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9 months ago

Never feel the most hurt, maybe you are the cause.

Never feel so right, maybe you are wrong.

Never feel let down, maybe you are exaggerating.

Never feel hurt the most, while you can be a wound for others

Before blaming others, It's good to introspect first.

Have you ever had the nature of feeling always hurt, a friend or coworker who has a nature that we must always guard against his feelings. When he talks as if we have to try to justify for fear of our attitude hurting him. So we have to hold our own feelings. Even though our hearts are very excited to face it. We are afraid that we will hurt him but we ourselves have been very hurt by facing it. It's really annoying and we go awry in this situation.

Complicated situations make a person become excessive in attitude and even tend to delegate responsibility to others. Assuming later we feel the most right, feeling as if we are arrogant, if later we are wrong we will blame, etc. These negative thoughts arise in our surroundings.

In fact, we have been given the opportunity by others. Rest assured that all these thoughts keep us from progressing. Don't always blame the situation, don't feel like we've been wronged, don't feel like what happened because there are people who don't like us, some are jealous of us, some are not happy with our success, etc. Keep this thought, if we want to live in peace, don't overreact to something

The characteristics of the temperament that I mentioned above are referred to as playing victim or victim syndrome, i.e. People with victim mentality often experience trauma or difficult times, but have not yet developed a healthier way to deal with them. As a result, they develop a negative outlook on life, in which they feel they have no control over what happens to them.

Feeling the Most Hurt and Suffer

Have we ever felt in a situation as if trials, tests, calamities kept coming over us? It's as if life is so hard. Or maybe from us or complaints from other people who have experienced some of the following conditions.

Always complaining in every condition, always making sad drama in every speech and we who hear it feel bad. Always blaming others for what happened to us and not realizing it all came from us

Then finally, we are only able to convey our grief to God with prayer and hope. And in a corner, it is destiny that brings us to seek God. Complaining to God, etc. God should always be in every step we take so that we are more calm and patient.

In addition, it is not the severity of the test that makes us weak, but the lightness of our relationship with Allah that causes us to seem unable to endure it. Don't blame the disappointment, pain from the past to affect other people. Don't blame God for what you keep in your heart but make sure God has prepared the best according to what you have prepared in your heart

Therefore, don't ever feel that you are here the most hurt, the most disappointed because you can't activate everything. Assure that Allah will not disappoint you let alone blame you because what we can do or not we must accept sincerely.

If Allah only created the sky for the earth, then how could Allah have created you without self-support. Allah has a better plan for your life than what you have planned.

Recognize the nature of people who like playing victims or people who feel the most hurt

One of the most annoying types of people are people who often play victim. They are good at acting. When they make a mistake, they will twist the facts and act as if they are victims.

That way they will gain the sympathy of others and an army of people will defend them

  • Don't want to be responsible. The z victim refuses to take responsibility for the actions he has committed.

  • Holding grudges.

    Perpetrators of playing victims can occur because of revenge and dislike for the victim, starting from the way of life, clothes, or having been injured by the victim before.

  • Disguised as a weak and helpless person. In essence, the perpetrators of playing victims try to disguise themselves as victims. This action is not even visible because they are good at manipulating circumstances, situations, and conditions. When they are wrong, they still don't want to take responsibility and only disguise themselves as weak, helpless, and hurt the most.

  • Try to feel sorry for yourself in front of other people. The perpetrators who are good at playing victims can disguise themselves as people who feel sorry for themselves. Unmitigated, this action was carried out in front of other people. This trait tends to look childish

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Do you have the character of the person who hurt the most? don't get used to it.

When we see people having these qualities, we must be able to respond, so that we don't become victims. However, if we are the ones who think this trait, change it. if you don't want to be labeled as an annoying person. They may not say, people sometimes don't even want to care

As humans, sometimes we also make mistakes. Making mistakes is very human. Likewise if we unknowingly have hurt others through words or actions. You are not the one who suffers the most.

Maybe you have hurt other people without realizing it.

Surely there are our mistakes that are forgiven by people who are not vindictive. Rather than we are busy holding grudges and hating someone who has hurt us, why not try to remember what wounds we have inscribed in the hearts of others?

All of that may have been forgiven by those who were not vindictive. But wouldn't it be better if we apologized directly?

Maybe, in the past, we have said things that hurt other people's hearts. Or we have been unfair to someone.

Everyone has a reason for what they do to us. The hurt and disappointment that we feel may not be done intentionally by the person concerned. However, even if it was intentional, that person must have had a good reason. Instead of thinking nonsense and making us more hurt, it's better to try to instill positive thoughts, right?

Because, it is possible that one day we will also be in that person's position. Where, there must be a choice made and disappointed one of the parties.m

There's nothing wrong with trying to see things from a different perspective

Before you think of yourself as the only one hurting, try to see things from a different perspective. Don't just put yourself first and expect everyone to understand what you want.

See also the sacrifices and struggles of others. You are not the only one who is most valuable in this world. Everyone has different priorities.

It's not a loss if we prefer to forgive other people's mistakes.

Being hurt and disappointed is very vulnerable to invite feelings of revenge. The desire to repay all the heartache will surely arise. However, we don't need to follow it. It is enough to forgive, then our hearts and feelings will be more relieved. As humans, it is very natural for us to feel let down from time to time. That's because we have a tendency to expect from other people. But, when the pain comes, don't overdo it and feel like the one who suffers the most.

Because everyone has reasons for their actions. Everyone can make mistakes too. So are you.

How to deal with people who have playing victims or victim syndrome

Victim syndrome, people who always feel the most suffering and become victims. Have you ever felt annoyed with the people closest to you who always feel like they are 'victims' in every problem related to them?

That means you are a victim of a victim syndrome sufferer. As a victim of a victim syndrome, of course sometimes you will feel confused and awry when dealing with him, especially if he is the closest person to you.

  • Make sure you know the real thing

    When you are involved in a problem that exists between you and a sufferer of victim syndrome, you should first confirm the truth of the incident before finally making a decision.

  • Don't let yourself feel like you are the right person and make victim blaming. If it's you who is wrong, show him that

    admitting mistakes is a responsible behavior and should not be avoided.

  • However, if it turns out that he is wrong, try to explain to him by using the facts you have gathered. You can also use a third party to provide an assessment of the problems you are facing.

  • Don't Believe

    When able to make others feel guilty, a victim syndrome sufferer will feel relieved and satisfied. If you hear a story from him about someone else, try to respond in a neutral manner, don't be provoked into making unkind comments. Maybe he will share your opinion with other people and make you sound like a bad person.

  • Don't Pay Too Much Attention

    Victim syndrome sufferers usually attract the attention of others by showing that they are the only ones who have so many burdens in life that they are no longer able to deal with them. They don't care if constantly saying negative things to themselves will have a bad impact on their mental health. The most important thing for them is just getting sympathy from other people.

You feel hurt, don't be too quick to say that God will repay you for your actions, but self-introspection may turn out to be a wound for other people. Let's introspect each other.

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9 months ago


One of my close friend taken 7 pills and cut off her's hand. Actually pushing onto life is sometimes scary

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9 months ago

Oh my God, I'm so sad to hear that. Is your friend's depression a problem? How is he now?

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9 months ago

Alhamdulillah he's doing great

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9 months ago

I was like this before. I mean, there's a part of me that just always want to feel the pain all by myself and kept on blaming others by feeling it. But as a grow older, I am trying to work on it, thinking that maybe I am also to be blame or I am also at fault that is why I felt miserable..

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9 months ago

Usually this trait occurs when we are teenagers, sometimes we want to control our friends for ourselves. Seeing friends who are close to us are also close to other people. And assume we are not cared for by him anymore and many other feelings. Hopefully we can be wiser and continue to learn to deal with every problem in life. Thank you for sharing about you

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9 months ago