The best parenting is your own example
In the picture you can see how Google maps fooled me recently.
They showed me right turn, but they wrote and said that it was necessary to turn left. Then I even took a screenshot of this moment and realized that people could create such a program in the likeness of themselves.
The fact is that most people, and especially parents with their children, use this method of education. In theory, they know how to do it better, they talk about it in words, but they themselves cannot do it. And then they get angry that the pupils do not listen to them.
For example, I myself was raised this way by my family all my life. My mother told me not to smoke and not to have children. However, she has been smoking since the age of 18 and continues to this day, and also gave birth to 3 children. My grandmother said that I shouldn't get married, but she got married at 20 and lived in marriage all her life.
And all my childhood I lived with a sense of deceit, with split understanding. I see one thing, but they tell me that this is bad, and I need to live differently. But I could not understand, if this is bad, then why do you, my examples, my beloved people, live like this? It is probably not a secret for anyone that in this way children develop bipolar disorder.
Also, many partners in love couples or friendships do the same. They say that you need to be happy, achieve your goals, love unconditionally. But all they themselves do is put forward claims, expectations, dissatisfaction in relation to their partner. But they demand something else from him in relation to himself.
There is a similar experiment in psychology, when a thumb is shown to the people, and at the same time they say: show your index finger. Undoubtedly, people showed their thumb, repeating after the leader of this experiment. Then conclusions were drawn that the best upbringing is one's own example, and not shaking the air for an hour.
The conclusion is that if you want to change something in a person, be it re-education of your child, an impact on your friend, on your wife, then you must be who you want to see your pupil. I have long concluded in my life that in order to raise a genius from a child, you do not need to take him to the best schools, to tutors, read Wikipedia articles to him, it is enough to be a genius yourself. It's so simple.
For example, this is how the relationship between my dad and me is going now. He doesn't teach me not to smoke, not to work, not to hang out with men. He just lives the way he would like me to live. He does not slave, does not humiliate himself, does not spree left and right, but philosophizes, studies, and so on. And here's the bottom line: I live exactly the same way. Coincidence? I do not think so. But if he continued to educate me as the women of my family did before (saying one thing and doing another), then perhaps I would have caught a schiz from split personality a long time ago.
Therefore, no matter how trite it may sound, but: more action, less words. Well, at least do what confirms your words. But to live according to one scenario, and speak another - this is the road to schizophrenia. Be careful.
And yes, I turned as I was shown by the maps, not told. And got to the right place. Draw your own conclusions ;)