New year : Don't Be Scared To Set New Goals

It is possible, by tradition, to burn "magic pieces of paper" to the chimes, but summing up the results of the past year and planning the next one will be more effective.

Why take stock of the year?

It is very important for the human brain to complete any processes it starts. Uncertainty gives rise to thousands of conjectures and fantasies that exhaust internal forces. In this case, any clarity saves from the "suspended" state. Taking stock will be a big resource release, even if you just say, "This year was normal!"

We all strive for recognition and praise. By approving the past year, accepting our own actions in it, we do an important thing for our own balance and become less dependent on the opinions of others.

How to summarize correctly?

Try to find a balance by noting something positive in different areas of life: focus on health, work, family, hobbies, and tick the boxes in each of these areas, telling your inner self that everything is okay.

I recall the story of one consultation: when a girl came to me with complaints of anxiety, headaches and lack of vitality. On the eve of the holidays, I suggested that she conduct an "inventory of the year" - this practice often gives good results. It turned out that, summing up, she only talked about work and financial results, thereby creating internal tension - the rest of the life suffered significantly. Using the “How good is that ...” method, we were able to eradicate the habit of devaluation and resentment towards ourselves. The girl's body, despite the fact that she did not pay due attention to him, was in order. Together we rejoiced, voicing: “It's so good that everything is in order with my health!” And agreed that she would be more caring for herself.

With her husband, they were also going through hard times: both were actively building their careers, not paying attention to each other. But even here we found something to be glad about: “How wonderful that this relationship exists. It's great that I paid attention to them, until there were claims to each other. " And again there is a new vector for the coming year - the desire to save the family.

After such a simple work on herself, the girl said: "The year was very worthy, and my life is quite good, it remains only to finalize some of the nuances." She seemed to exhale, seeing the whole picture and deliberately finding something good in every corner of her life. I remember that she smiled goodbye then and shared that she felt much calmer and happier.

How to set goals for the New Year?

Having said goodbye to the outgoing year with gratitude, we can safely greet the future with new plans.

Allow yourself to dream a little before setting goals, imagining whatever you want, even if it seems unrealistic. After - move on to logical and thoughtful goals. It is important to activate not only the left-brain energy, but also the right-brain energy - in such harmony the highest quality ideas are born.

Check the target for truth according to the following parameters:

i. Transit - understanding what will happen to you after reaching the goal.

ii. Flexibility - allowing yourself to be the master of your goals, not their slave: changing, postponing and even abandoning some if they are no longer needed.

iii. Body reaction - the real goal will respond with a kind of "purring", goose bumps or a deep response of the body.

In the process of teaching personal therapy for psychologists and helping practitioners, we perform exercises to develop expertise. One such exercise is setting goals for the future. I often find the goals sound as vague and incomprehensible to the brain as possible: “I want to conduct 12 consultations a week, then I will feel successful” - in fact, this goal leads to neurosis and burnout. What happens to the feeling of expertise if you get sick or if it's out of season? And if you transform it like this: "I want to conduct 100 consultations", adding a term "in six months" - this is a different, understandable and executable story.

Or, for example: "I want to work with groups." When? What groups? How often? In person? At what price? When this thought is transformed: "By the spring of 2022, I want to assemble and successfully conduct two online groups of personal therapy, consisting of seven people, with a cost of 2,000 rubles per participant" - this version, according to the experience of my numerous groups, materializes many times faster ...

Each goal should have specific parameters, timing of achievement and decomposition (division into understandable simple steps by periods).

Don't be afraid of your goals

Any goal must certainly be scanned for fears at the mention of it. Fears, in turn, are important to transform with a specialist or try to depreciate on their own, for example, using the formula: "This is just my fear, nothing more!"

With one of my clients, we discovered an interesting fear: he was afraid that his wishes might come true! It turned out that when he dreamed of starting a family, he was most frightened by the thought that his girlfriend would agree to become his wife. In the course of our joint work, images of parents who were unable to save the marriage arose, doubts about the ability to provide the family with financial well-being, fears that he was not interesting enough as a person.

We have worked effectively on each item, one by one, creating a sense of freedom, confidence and a willingness to take responsibility commensurately.

My question is: "What are you more afraid of, that this will come true or not?" - allowed us to break the deadlock to a new level of self-sufficiency.

An excellent continuation of working with goals can be "coloring" them with emotions. Our body "talks" with feelings. Filling goals with taste, smell, pictures, sounds, sensations - we bring them to a new, more understandable level of perception for our subconscious, which means we increase the likelihood of their realization.

In conclusion, I want to say: remember the 72-hour rule. If within 3 days you have not made at least one step towards your goal, then the brain perceives such a task as unimportant, sabotaging all thoughts and actions on the way to achieving it.

I wish everyone the fulfillment of your creative goals! Happy New Year in advance.