Have you ever been the type of person who always cared what other people thought? If you were in a position to advise someone, what would you tell them? Have you ever considered how you might feel about what someone else thinks about you?
It is almost laughable to suggest that we should care nothing for the opinions of others in the first place, since to care has nothing to do with stopping us from caring! You can't stop somebody from caring effectively if you tell them they care too much!
The difference between thick and thin skin is
The toughest people are those with thick skins. Some people are so averse to rejection that they don't care, or maybe they're just better at suppressing that feeling.
Those with thin skin, for example. Those whose words and actions affect them directly and penetrate their hearts like they've been stabbed.
However, sometimes, even if we try so hard to resist it, we are still adversely affected by other people.
The truth is.
Taking things personal isn't something we can just stop.
The fact that we were able to just consciously choose not to be hurt whenever other people's words hurt us is not a conscious choice. I wish we had a button in our head that said "I don't care!" But there is no such button.
What's the best way to handle it?
Before we can answer those questions, however, we need to turn our attention to this.
HOW IS IT I TAKE WHAT I SEE OPPOSITE OF HOW IT IS THAT WE PERSONALLY IDENTIFY THINGS?
And,
HOW IS IT THAT I STOP CAREING WHAT OTHERS THINK?
Your answer has to be your own.
Here's a thought.
It is disapprovals, not distancing behavior, that is distancing behavior that causes people cease caring about what others think, say, or do.
What you are doing is preventing yourself from seeing the world from another individual's perspective by not giving your opinion a lot of weight. In separation from one another, we are moving further apart. Because of this, we are not given the opportunity to look at ourselves from a new perspective. Unless we stop caring about other people's opinions, we will not develop self awareness.
We should care about the fact that every person thinks differently. It is not acceptable for people to defy our beliefs, since or that is merely defending themselves.
Teal Swan stresses one very important point:
Self-concept is influenced by other people's perspectives, but that's not the same as caring about their opinions:
Before, my skin was thin.
All criticism is taken personally with me. Getting rejected is not in my best interest. The negative words and comments are not something I want to hear. Although I tell myself “I care not what they say!”, I still care when I hear I hurt others.
However, things changed as you improved and aspired to be your best self, as time progressed. Seeing things from a positive point of view is what has taught you not to run from things anymore and you won't be offended by them ever again. In your dealings with others, you use an open mind toward what they say. It doesn't matter whether a person is born with a zip on their mouth. And words have the power to hurt the spirit of anyone, no matter how young or old they are. You are the one who has to back down, but in the end it's up to you. Often what you say to yourself is more influential than what others think.
May we all be attentive to the words we speak, and be aware of the impact that they have on the people around us. The mouth is a certain part of us that we cannot control, especially when it comes to our words, and I am no different. I use it frequently. However, we still employ a strategy of showing that one should not let one's tongue be the cause of one's distress. When we speak our mind, we do so knowing that our words and the way we use them have the power to either lift others or sever someone else's spirit, like a sharp knife severing flesh.