We are addicted to our thoughts. We can't change anything unless we change our thinking.
"I'm addicted," she said.
"But didn't you just tell me you've been clean for 15 years?" I asked.
"That's right."
"So what are you addicted to then?" I asked.
"Do what I shouldn't do when I actually know better," she said. “I'm addicted to wrong things because they are easier and because they are the way I've always done it.
“And I am addicted to negativity, anger and fear ; not a day goes by that I don't let them take over.
“And if I'm honest, that's just the tip of the iceberg…
” But the worst part is that I know dozens of people who are just like me in this regard. We are junkies ... and we don't even notice! ”
This Quote From here
WE HUMANS ARE (ALMOST) ALL ADDICTED TO THIS:
1. Wanting, and even expecting, everything to be easy
2. Chain ourselves to what we already know
3. Compare ourselves to others, and then compete with them.
4. Secretly hope for everyone's approval
5. Take things personally and dramatically
6. Loving others than ourselves
7. Believe we don't have enough to give back
8. Think, think and think more
Dream about how it could or should have gone
I'll explain it all, point by point. And then consider: What addictions do you recognize in yourself?
Let Be honest ... And it won't be easy, because one of the hallmarks of addiction is denial!
WHY IS IT GOOD TO ACKNOWLEDGE YOUR ADDICTIONS?
Because you can really, all of them, overcome. That won't be easy, but the reward is so sweet ...
Mindfulness and Self-Compassion help you to explore, recognize and acknowledge - but above all deal with and overcome - your addictions. I'll explain that at the end of this post.
1. WANTING, AND EVEN EXPECTING, EVERYTHING TO BE EASY
Great deeds take time and effort. Good things don't come naturally. We need patience and dedication to get through the muddy period between inspiration and results.
If we want things to go easy - or rather, expect this - disappointment is inevitable. And this disappointment is a strong incentive to give up too soon. And that means that you will never know… You will never know if it is in your ability to make the effort and to do something wonderful with your life.
I made changes because I was tired of not knowing. And you?
Find the courage to take on difficult things
The things that no other does
The things that scare you
The things that someone else cannot do for you
The things you wonder about how much longer you can put them off
Because these are the things that really matter. These are the things that make the difference between survival and real life - between knowing the path and walking the path - between a mediocre life and a life of happiness and success.
Yes, find the courage!
And remember this: courage doesn't always show itself like a roaring lion. Sometimes courage is simply the soft voice whispering at the end of the day:
"I'll try again tomorrow."
2. CHAIN OURSELVES TO WHAT WE ALREADY KNOW
We are products of our past, but we don't have to be prisoners of it. When you stop learning, you stop living a life of value. A rich life does not arise in familiar and comfortable terrain. It is precisely by getting into motion and stepping out of the known that you grow and become stronger.
Open up your mind and heart
Hold on to your core values, as a compass in your life, and see if you can open your mind and heart to new ideas, feelings and experiences at the same time. Your vision will become clearer if you look at things from different angles. Find ways to challenge the way you live life in a healthy way, and you will experience surprises and insights that enrich your life.
3. COMPARE OURSELVES TO OTHERS, AND THEN COMPETE WITH THEM.
Let go of comparisons with others and you get the freedom to achieve what is important to you . Sometimes you need to remind yourself that you don't always have to be and do what others are and do.
Relationships and collaboration for personal growth
If you don't have to compete with others, you can work with them instead for a common goal . You can use your shared insights and talents to accomplish what you cannot do on your own. In the absence of competition, relationships and collaboration are tremendous catalysts for personal growth.
4. SECRETLY HOPE FOR EVERYONE'S APPROVAL
You don't need anyone's love or approval to see yourself as good enough.
Repeat this to yourself and reflect on it:
"I don't need anyone's love or approval to see myself as good enough."
99% of the time, if someone rejects, leaves, or condemns you, it's not about you. Most of the time it's about his or her insecurities, boundaries, and needs, and you don't have to involve any of these on yourself.
Your value does not depend on acceptance by others - it is yours, it is your own value. You live, so you matter. You can think and feel. You can assert your wishes and you can claim your space. You can hold on to what is true and important to you. And you can distance yourself from people who make you feel like you shouldn't be allowed to do all of this.
5. TAKE THINGS PERSONALLY AND DRAMATICALLY
Another car cuts you off
Your friend is not answering your text message
Your colleague went out for lunch without you
Anyone can find reasons, on a daily basis, to feel insulted, ignored or ignored. But what is the cause of this negative emotion? You take things personally and dramatically. You assumed it was about you and added a negative intention to a harmless action in itself.
Don't do this to yourself!
Notice that you have personally taken the action of another and turn it back, because it is not about you. Actions of others are about them. So let it go.
How would your life change if you left out the drama, gossip, and destructive assumptions?
Let today be the day you discover this.
6. Loving others than ourselves
Life gets a lot easier when you're your own best friend. So don't forget yourself when in company, and don't be too hard on yourself. There are plenty of others who already do that ...
There is nothing selfish about taking care of yourself at all. If you don't take good care of yourself, you can't be optimal for others. Because we cannot give what we do not have ourselves. Treat yourself well and you will be a life saver to others.
7. BELIEVE WE DON'T HAVE ENOUGH TO GIVE BACK
You don't have everything, but you have more than enough. Don't be afraid to share.
Generosity helps you to keep your belongings from taking possession of you . In other words, generosity doesn't just help others, it sets you free. This is why living in abundance is not possible until you have done something beautiful for someone who will never be able to pay you back. Be aware of this and live a good life.
There is no exercise that is better for the heart and mind than reaching out and helping people.
8. THINK, THINK AND THINK MORE
Sometimes your mind unnecessarily grapples with events that most likely will never happen.
Your sore throat is life-threatening
You have lost your driver's license and someone has taken it on who will steal your identity
Such negativity is a breeding ground for much more negativity. It is such a current as in the sea, at low tide, that takes you further and further from the coast. And if you don't swim away from it, it will pull you
Never think too long about a dilemma
Answers come naturally to a calm mind. Space helps things to fall into place. Go for a walk or meditate, let your mind relax and notice that everything dissolves by itself..
If your fears and worries pull you deep into the vortex of thoughts, your mind will not solve your problems, but will create even more problems. You think yourself unhappy.
DREAM ABOUT HOW IT COULD OR SHOULD HAVE GONE
Before you can really live in this moment, part of you has to die.
What could have been
How you should have answered
What you would have liked to do differently
You will have to let go and bury these thoughts, and you will have to accept that you cannot change your past experiences. And that also applies to how others judged you at that moment and the consequences of choices - your own or your own. As you eventually begin to accept this truth — that you cannot change the past — you will develop a lived sense of what forgiveness means for yourself and others. Then you are free, open, present and you are in the middle of your life.
So go for it. Release. Forgive. Be open, present, free. Now
DEALING WITH ADDICTIONS
If you are struggling with any of these addictions, know that you are not alone . Many of us fight the same battle to feel better, think clearer, and be free from addiction.
Mindfulness and Self-Compassion are methods to become aware of your addictions and the underlying motivations and to deal with them in a mild way.
MINDFULNESS TRAINING
The most obvious addiction that mindfulness can help you with are addiction 1, 8 and 9 . Mindfulness training is such an example of investing a lot of time and then really reaping - all of your life (1). We learn to surf the waves of life and take our thoughts less seriously (8 and 9).
Also addiction 5 is important: we learn to no longer make a molehill ... and an elephant no mosquito. So we learn to see things as they are.
MINDFUL SELF-COMPASSION TRAINING
The most striking is addiction 6 : Loving others more than ourselves. With self-compassion we take ourselves and our pain seriously, take care of ourselves and thus nourish a source of kindness, gentleness, acceptance and life energy. We gain a firmer foundation and become more independent, so that we no longer need our addictions ( all: 1 to 9 ) to avoid, fight or dramatize.
We feel slowly but surely getting richer and of course we also have more left at some point ( addiction 7 ), to give or to share.
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