" .Understanding True Love and Commitment in Islam:
An Important Point to Ponder
Why are many of our Muslim youth nowadays engaging in illicit relationships? Well, aside from the evil influence of television, reading materials, music and social media, one of the main reasons is a twisted understanding of what love is.
I often come across posts like, "Tao lang ako.Nagmahal lang ako," and other statements to that effect. Islam does not forbid one to love the opposite sex, hence, it has given the halal instrument in the form of Nikah (marriage) to channel that love in a beneficial way.What Islam DOES forbid is the love and connections established outside that halal Nikah channel, which will only wreak havoc to one's life.
Whatever Allah SWT has deemed haram (unlawful) for us was instigated as such because our Creator knows better than us. Yes, He fashioned our hearts, therefore, He, Azza wa Jal knows what is best for them. What is love, anyway? I'd like to quote a beautiful statement from Shaykh Yassir Fazaga. He says, "The word 'love' in the Qur'an appears in over 90 places,but interestingly, it doesn't define the word 'love' but speaks about the very first consequence of love -- commitment. Islam talks about commitment. If you truly love something or someone, you COMMIT. If you do not, then your claim of real love is not real at all".
In a sense, love here is indirectly defined and equated to commitment. Commitment is not empty words or actions.Commitment entails putting your 100% and performing obligations,that if not abided by, entails accountability and punishment. Would you believe me if I told you I love Allah SWT but I don't obey Him? If I don't commit myself to praying, to fasting, to avoid shirk and to avoid all He has detested for me to do? Of course not. Same with loving someone. If you love someone, be ready to commit ASAP. How? Only through Nikah!
Dear brothers, if you love that lady, then marry her. That is commitment.Commit yourselves and do it the halal way, not the gf-bf way. Don't play with girls and say you are testing them and then throw them away if they fall for your charms. Didn't the Prophet SAW give, in his last khutbah, instructions pertaining to taking care of women? Didn't Allah SWT say men are "protectors" of women? Yet some of you take them as toys. Admonish yourselves and repent. Dear sisters, don't be so easily taken in by those sweet words, those flowers and chocolates. Those all-too-often empty "I love you's" and "I'll marry you someday." There's a saying, "I'll cross the bridge when I get there." Don't believe in his promise of commitment unless it's there already! The mistake of many girls is to commit to a guy when there is no real commitment (Nikah) yet. If he loves you, he will respect your commitment to Allah SWT in that you should not be in a haram relationship. Close all doors to this evil and repent.
If you don't end up with someone you love despite efforts to make it halal, then accept it as Allah's will and do your best to move on with your life. He knows what is best for us!
Dear brothers and sisters, be helpers of one another towards good, not towards destruction. Do not be a source of fitnah for each other.Understand that love and commitment go together.If there is no halal commitment involved (Nikah) don't commit. Because it's your commitment to Allah SWT that will suffer greatly.May Allah SWT forgive, guide and preserve us all.Ameen.....!!
