Life can be pretty hard. And sometimes quite harsh and tragic for us. We were raised to be good and study hard so that we can graduate with flying colors and have a stable job. But is that what you want? To find a job, marry and have a bunch of babies then wait until the time you get old and then take care of your grand babies ?
Well, honestly speaking when I was still in primary school, I dreamed of being an artist. I loved to draw. I can speak to it in many ways that I can. I can control the outcome of every art that I create. Art became my sweet escape from loneliness back then as an only child who was never allowed to play outside with the other kids.
However, when I got into Highschool. Something changed. Maybe it is the obvious signs that I can not pursue being an artist since the materials are expensive. Or maybe it is the time that I fell inlove with playing table tennis. I said, if I can't pursue being an artist I will persue being an athlete and a teacher to raise good and disciplined athletes.
Well, guess what. The moment that I was enrolling for college to be a MAPEH teacher ( Music, Arts, Physical Education and Health ) I somehow got a vision of me, teaching a class. And I was like. Nope. That's not me. There is something wrong. Something that is lacking. So I was gonna changed my course to Industrial Engineering. However, I never get to change it. It turns out, my mother enrolled me to a course that I barely even know of.
But, after 4 years, I fell inlove once again. And was succesful to graduate and pass my board exam. I am now a Licensed Customs Broker. And my dream of becoming an Engineer turned to becoming a Customs Officer in the Bureau.
Alas, that moment still haven't come. After working for almost a year in a manufacturing company I resigned and worked as a personal assistant. But that alsi didn't last.
Through desperate times of anxiety eating me like a dark cloud in the sky ready to pounce its roaring rain, the doubt in me hugging my very existence, seizing my ability to render my dreams and my reality, Art became my salvation.
The once forgotten dream knocked through my troubled times and here I am. A struggling portrait artist. Yes I have a bachelors degree. Yes I am licensed in a different field from being an artist. But right now I don't care *cue the song 2NE1 hahaha*
I still dream of being a Customs Officer. I still dreamed of being an artist too ! I dreamed, I believed and right now I am surviving. I am holding unto those dreams. And I am not backing down. I maybe struggling today and I know tomorrow I will be struggling too. I am a 23 year old jobless mess, but I am still believing that there is something great out there, that only I can do.
You will never figure out how life works. You will be put into a roller coaster ride. It is like surfing you know ? Never go against the waves. Be one with the waves. There are bad waves were you tried to surf to but almost ended up on drowning. And there are good waves where you enjoyed riding to. You may be out of breath, exhausted and maybe even injured, but you still keep on going.
My friend, fellow human, you are very much capable of everything if you wanted to. Just dream and believe in yourself. Never back down. When you're tired please give it a rest. But do.not.give.up. You have all the weapons that you need in life. Now fight. And SURVIVE.
It was so hopefully... Thank you for that ...