Did you ever have moments when you tried to be funny and the joke was unmistakably obvious to yourself but ended up being the only one who got it?
Now, I am far from the funniest guy on the planet. I know that, like I know I am far from the smartest or most intelligent person who's ever lived. But I also know that, throughout my life, whenever I try to make a joke, at least everyone understands that I was trying to make a joke. I might not have been successful at making the joke funny, I might in fact achieved nothing but annoying or even wind up with angry people with the attempt at humor, but at least everyone understood I was trying to be funny.
Today however I think I unlocked an achievement in joking and there's a notification waiting for me somewhere saying "You're the only one that gets it! Achievement unlocked."
And I am the only one it seems that doesn't understand why nobody gets the joke. That's also a thing I never thought I'd experience. I feel like there's an r/woooosh in here somewhere!
The joke isn't even that original, and I have made similar jokes in the past that actually got quite a number of up votes (laughs) from people. The audience for this kind of joke seems to be those with no knowledge of cryptocurrency statistical analysis charts or those who are familiar with tradingview.com's idea section.
Sometimes you see chart screenshots, not even NASA engineers can figure out, or that look like abstract art, with no real explanation of what the chart and its lines, squiggles, and doodles are supposed to be showing. Other times, the chart's explanation from the author is even more confusing than the chart itself because the writer seems to have taken all the longest and most impressive terms and jargon, put it in a blender for a while before pouring it out into the edit field.
So yeah, today I wasn't even looking to post anything, half asleep and my creative inspiration meter was showing negative numbers. That's usually an indicator for me not to even try to communicate at all, let alone put something creative out there to the public. Just putting on a movie or play a game at those moments is usually "the smartest option" for me to choose. Unfortunately, I've never been described as "The guy who always makes the smartest choice" before, and never let anything like that stop me.
So yes, I know, it is very possible I failed to be funny. I know that this might trigger some responses that inform me of the fact that what I posted was not funny, helpful, and unappreciated. I can handle that, I've handled it before, and there's nothing wrong with that. I can understand and accept that. HOWEVER!!!!
As I am physically beating my keyboard like an SM master with headphones on, not hearing his/her slave shouting the safeword (yes that was an awful attempt at describing typing funnily. Guess today is awfully bad jokes-day for me), I am telling myself that I am wasting my time making this article. I should go relax, stop myself from thinking about this, and then go do something useful! That would be the smart thing to do?
But, as I said, I never let something like that stop me before. Why start now?
There was one response I got to today's failure to be funny though that goes completely beyond my brain's capacity to comprehend. Like I said (typed) before, I can understand someone not getting a joke, or failing to recognize something was intended to be funny, and maybe even getting angry enough to let the joker know about it. Again. that's not a problem for me, I usually reply with something like "Yeah, you might be right, and I apologize if [insert whatever failure here] offended you or made you angry" and move on.
Even just thinking about it boils my blood and really makes me want to take off the gloves and get it on!
Here's what I got through a dm in reply to my post:
This won't fly damnit! I will make ya regret this! Ya think ya can randomly offend people because ya are on the internet and untouchable? Guess again! I am going to find ya! I will find y'r friends and family and I will make ya regret making me hurt them!
Now, don't get me wrong. I've got a pretty thick hide (Yes, I know I could have stopped that sentence after thick ;-) ) and I don't let stuff get to me easily. I know the likelihood of this f**k finding anything about me, let alone be able to affect me or anyone I know, is so small it's scientifically equal to zero. But there's something about this message that's so ridiculously over the top, it's getting under my skin! I've even gone through the motions and looked at what I could find out about this, of course, anonymous and unsigned, individual. I'm not going to bore you with how, what, or even why I know how to, but I found out more than this guy thinks possible. I can make his life pretty miserable if I choose to. I have his email address, phone number, employer, marital status, number of children, and even his home address.
Even though the guy's dm is now more than an hour old, my blood is still boiling. Usually when I get p*$$*d off it tends to last only a short time before I settle down, shrug, and then move on. This time, though, not so much. I mean, this guy actually had the audacity and threatened to hurt my friends and family! Over a joke! You can call me anything you want, threaten me with physical or mental pain and suffering, and I will probably not even bother to reply. But you never, ever, threaten my family!
So here's what I'm going to do. I'll show you the post, apparently not recognizable as attempted humor, I put up this morning, and I will share with you some particular information about this person that is relevant to this situation, and I'll check back later today to see what you think I should do.
Here is the "joke"
I posted this with no other comments or explanation or whatever. Just this picture as you see it here.
Now after I got this individual's response in my dm I did some "(...)find you(...)" myself, and after laughing evilly at his total ignorance regarding privacy or internet safety (or maybe lack of caring) I could build a picture about his (lack of) personality and history in communicating online. Well, I'll be honest, I know more about this guy now than I think he knows himself, and I can screw up his life in so many ways and in so many degrees it actually scares me a little.
He posts pictures in which he regularly hints at being a member of anonymous. In some FB posts, he even outright claims he is a hacktivist.
He even managed to get himself featured on the /r/masterhacker Subreddit on one occasion.
He has a rather short fuse, with several rude and insulting posts and messages in the past month alone.
I know he is divorced, has 2 children whom he hasn't been allowed to see in the past one and a half years.
He is 35, works as an order picker in a large warehouse.
He has a history of getting into fights and has been convicted for at least 3 separate violent incidents.
Furthermore, he is anti-vax, and on more than one occasion mentioned that he believes that authorities knowingly wronged him and covered it up, so he couldn't take it to court (keeping this vague enough, so it is impossible for you guys/galls to identify this guy, a consideration he never gives anyone).
Not only that, but he even, I assume without cause, accused his ex-wife of pedophilia relations with his son.
He claims to be a Christian and uses bible quotes in threats and insults to people.
In short, this guy is a real douchebag. So far he hasn't come across anyone that has the means, will, and/or time to take him up on his threats, or to challenge the claims he makes about what he can do with computers.
The worst that he had to deal with is having a post removed from FB twice, his Twitter account deleted, and three nights in jail after beating up someone.
It would not be the first time that I've been told I have handled a conflict situation completely wrong. I've been told I totally overreacted, should have done something, or that I wasted my time in different instances. So today, for the first time in my life, I am asking for advice before deciding what I am going to do.
Should I.... educate this person on the extent of his (lack of) hacker skills, by showing what someone who does have (some) skills in that area can do if they want to without actually doing anything, in the hope he backs down from now on?
Should I send him an angry reply through dm, telling him he went too far and hope he gets the message and move on?
Should I ignore him completely (too late, but I mean from this point on) and move on?
Should I (remember, he claims to be a Christian) go Ezekiel 25:17 on his ass, despite being an Atheist myself?
*Ezekiel 25:17, rephrased to fit the situation: And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger, those who attempt to scare me and threaten my family. And you will know my name is @AnonSunamun when I lay my fingers upon thee!
Thanks for reading this and your advice!
Stay safe and stay happy