Fear of sex - what can you do about it

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Avatar for AngryKoala
3 years ago
Topics: Sex, Fear, Phobia, Genophobia, Erotiphobia, ...

Have you heard that some people have a fear of sex? Are you worried or scarred about having sex? Read below about sex-related phobias, reasons for fear, and how to get rid of fear of sex.

What is FEAR OF SEX?

Fear of sex can show in different ways and can relate to different aspects of sex. Genophobia and erotophobia refer to a general fear and dislike of sex, but there are fears relating to nudity, intercourse and even the opposite sex.

If you are experiencing negative emotions towards sex or a part of the sexual experience, you are not alone, you are not broken or weird, it is surprisingly common and there are treatment options.

TYPES OF FEAR:

  • GENOPHOBIA - fear of sexual intercourse

  • NOSOPHOBIA - fear of getting disease or virus

  • GYMNOPHOBIA - fear of nudity (seeing others naked, being seen naked, or both)

  • HETEROPHOBIA - fear of the opposite sex

  • HAPHEPHOBIA - fear of being touched as well as touching others

  • TOCOPHOBIA - fear of pregnancy or childbirth

  • PHILEMAPHOBIA - fear of kissing

REASONS OF FEAR:

There are many reasons someone could have a fear of sex. It can relate to physical issues such as pain during sex or emotional, such as past trauma, or it could be a combination of both. The first step in overcoming fear of sex is to try to identify the root of the fear, and you can work better with doctor and psychologist.

In this article you will learn about most common reasons, but there could be many more, so if you feel none relate to you, it is still worth seeing a doctor to work on this.

  • CULTURAL

Many people grow up in a strict cultural or religious background that teaches fear of sex. Many are taught that sex is painful, brings diseases and is only for marriage, so it is incredibly common for people, even after leaving that background, to still have feelings of fear. If you or your partner are in that position, be patient, be sensitive and be understanding. A lifetime of being told one thing, takes a while to get over, but it can be unlearned with proper support. It can help to talk to people from a similar background to understand how they overcome their fear.

  • VAGINISMUS

Medical issues that cause pain during sex such as vaginismus and endometriosis can result in someone developing a fear of sex. It is normal to fear the thing that causes you pain and you are entitled to feel that way. If your partner is pressuring into having sex despite that, please know that is not okay. It can be difficult for someone to fully understand the depth of your pain, but you do not need to convince someone. If you do not want to have sex, that is okay, and your partner must accept that.

  • TRAUMA

Sexual and physical abuse can trigger fear of sex, touching or any kind of intimacy. It may even present itself years later in life so it may not be immediately obvious how trauma may be affecting you. If you are experiencing something like this, please do not force yourself to have sex with your partner. Your feelings are valid and sex is not something you are expected to give to someone just because you are in a relationship.

You deserve to put yourself first and when you are ready, seek medical and psychological help. You are not weak for doing so, it is actually a sign of strength and you can work through this with support.

  • BODY IMAGE

Sex comes with a lot of pressure, especially on our first time. We might feel like wo do not look sexy enough, or we do not know what to do, will we be good in bed, do we smell weird, or is it our penis big enough. Society has given everyone body image issues and it can be really difficult to get over that without proper love and support from ourselves and our partner. If you feel that way, do not stress, it happens to us all. Know that sex is not meant to be perfect, we all make weird noises and we all not having a perfect body.

  • PREGNANCY and DISEASE

We have all been taught of dangers of sex, so it is not surprising when those teachings leave us with a fear of sex. If you want to have safe sex, learn about all sexual diseases, learn about pregnancy. Educate yourself about contraceptive methods, and be prepared. Education will give you the tools to have safe and enjoyable sex without fear.


TREATMENT

There are many options to deal with fear of sex:

  1. There are medical treatments to help reduce physical pain during sex. Also, use lubricant, go slow, try non-penetrative sex position.

  2. See a psychologist and join a support group. Having a safe space to talk about your fears and traumas is so important.

  3. Do a self reflect. Ask yourself how you feel during sex, is there something or someone who causes you stress?

  4. Put yourself first, no matter what. You do not need to do something you do not want.

This all are a common and understandable, and you do not ever have to have sex if you do not want to, that is also okay.

It’s perfectly okay to be an asexual person.

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Avatar for AngryKoala
3 years ago
Topics: Sex, Fear, Phobia, Genophobia, Erotiphobia, ...

Comments

When you were born in the old days sex is something not to be mentioned and talk about especially on minors. Even on married couples seldom I heard they talk about it and mostly I heard women's silent dislike of having with it.

$ 0.01
3 years ago

Turning talking about sex into a taboo leads to people being completely sexually uneducated. They know nothing about their anatomy, they know nothing about the anatomy of the opposite sex. They don't know what's good and what's bad about sex. They do not know the importance of consent to sex. All of the above must change and we must be aware of ourselves and our sexuality.

$ 0.00
3 years ago

The kind of thing that should be taught in sex ed. This would be better than scaring the kids when we all know how liverated they all are now

$ 0.00
3 years ago

How many times have you had conversations about sex with your parents? I had once. That conversation was a ban on sexual intercourse and intimidation. Of course that didn't make any sense. I myself researched and learned everything I needed to know about sex and prevention, as well as potential diseases. It’s been 10 years since my high school, and there’s no sex education yet.

$ 0.00
3 years ago

Here, the parents don't talk to the kids about sex. They always say any form of intimacy with a guy leads to pregnancy. Same with schools. That's why sex ed is not a thing here and more continue to just fear it or search on their own

$ 0.00
3 years ago

Same here. The most of the parents doesnt talk with their kids. In school they maybe have one class about sex. You can learn from the Internet, thats all.

$ 0.00
3 years ago

Ahh yes, the internet is where almost everyone initially learns. Those that weren't pressured into rape, at least

$ 0.00
3 years ago

Thank you for sharing as I never heard of it before. Never knew people could fear sex.

$ 0.00
3 years ago

These phobias exist and we never know if our partner is afraid of sex. In that case, we need to be full of understanding, support and help. Sex is beautiful only when they both agree and both enjoy. Just imagine what horror a person with a sex phobia experiences while having sex? Thank you for finding my article educative.

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3 years ago