Fear of sex - what can you do about it

Have you heard that some people have a fear of sex? Are you worried or scarred about having sex? Read below about sex-related phobias, reasons for fear, and how to get rid of fear of sex.

What is FEAR OF SEX?

Fear of sex can show in different ways and can relate to different aspects of sex. Genophobia and erotophobia refer to a general fear and dislike of sex, but there are fears relating to nudity, intercourse and even the opposite sex.

If you are experiencing negative emotions towards sex or a part of the sexual experience, you are not alone, you are not broken or weird, it is surprisingly common and there are treatment options.

TYPES OF FEAR:

• GENOPHOBIA - fear of sexual intercourse

• NOSOPHOBIA - fear of getting disease or virus

• GYMNOPHOBIA - fear of nudity (seeing others naked, being seen naked, or both)

• HETEROPHOBIA - fear of the opposite sex

• HAPHEPHOBIA - fear of being touched as well as touching others

• TOCOPHOBIA - fear of pregnancy or childbirth

• PHILEMAPHOBIA - fear of kissing

REASONS OF FEAR:

There are many reasons someone could have a fear of sex. It can relate to physical issues such as pain during sex or emotional, such as past trauma, or it could be a combination of both. The first step in overcoming fear of sex is to try to identify the root of the fear, and you can work better with doctor and psychologist.

In this article you will learn about most common reasons, but there could be many more, so if you feel none relate to you, it is still worth seeing a doctor to work on this.

• CULTURAL

Many people grow up in a strict cultural or religious background that teaches fear of sex. Many are taught that sex is painful, brings diseases and is only for marriage, so it is incredibly common for people, even after leaving that background, to still have feelings of fear. If you or your partner are in that position, be patient, be sensitive and be understanding. A lifetime of being told one thing, takes a while to get over, but it can be unlearned with proper support. It can help to talk to people from a similar background to understand how they overcome their fear.

• VAGINISMUS

Medical issues that cause pain during sex such as vaginismus and endometriosis can result in someone developing a fear of sex. It is normal to fear the thing that causes you pain and you are entitled to feel that way. If your partner is pressuring into having sex despite that, please know that is not okay. It can be difficult for someone to fully understand the depth of your pain, but you do not need to convince someone. If you do not want to have sex, that is okay, and your partner must accept that.

• TRAUMA

Sexual and physical abuse can trigger fear of sex, touching or any kind of intimacy. It may even present itself years later in life so it may not be immediately obvious how trauma may be affecting you. If you are experiencing something like this, please do not force yourself to have sex with your partner. Your feelings are valid and sex is not something you are expected to give to someone just because you are in a relationship.

You deserve to put yourself first and when you are ready, seek medical and psychological help. You are not weak for doing so, it is actually a sign of strength and you can work through this with support.

• BODY IMAGE

Sex comes with a lot of pressure, especially on our first time. We might feel like wo do not look sexy enough, or we do not know what to do, will we be good in bed, do we smell weird, or is it our penis big enough. Society has given everyone body image issues and it can be really difficult to get over that without proper love and support from ourselves and our partner. If you feel that way, do not stress, it happens to us all. Know that sex is not meant to be perfect, we all make weird noises and we all not having a perfect body.

• PREGNANCY and DISEASE

We have all been taught of dangers of sex, so it is not surprising when those teachings leave us with a fear of sex. If you want to have safe sex, learn about all sexual diseases, learn about pregnancy. Educate yourself about contraceptive methods, and be prepared. Education will give you the tools to have safe and enjoyable sex without fear.

TREATMENT

There are many options to deal with fear of sex:

1. There are medical treatments to help reduce physical pain during sex. Also, use lubricant, go slow, try non-penetrative sex position.

2. See a psychologist and join a support group. Having a safe space to talk about your fears and traumas is so important.

3. Do a self reflect. Ask yourself how you feel during sex, is there something or someone who causes you stress?

4. Put yourself first, no matter what. You do not need to do something you do not want.

This all are a common and understandable, and you do not ever have to have sex if you do not want to, that is also okay.

It’s perfectly okay to be an asexual person.