So here is to veering away from my usual posts. Admittedly, I do not feel inspired to make an entry here in my WordPress account the past weeks. So many travel backlogs that need to be shared but it seems that my laziness is hitting me to the core. Every night though, I find myself clouded with so many racing thoughts. So I am giving in to these random things that have kept me quite jittery for some time now. And yeah, this entry is in Taglish. So bare with me.
Kit McCallumonce once shared,
“How often do we have to bear the challenges of living and loving?
The endless roller coaster between happiness and sorrow;
The constant ups and downs of daily strife.
And always the question remains…. why? ”
Perplexity
How often do we ask the question “Where do I go from here?” If life is a series of challenges and lessons, then only by reflecting on our past triumphs and mistakes, can we wisely choose the next path that we will ultimately embrace.
I have always wanted to write something to address such a question but then I always find myself feeling dumpy doing it. There are things that make it difficult to write. I'm sure, many of us have come to the point where it is difficult to decide on certain matters… leaving us wondering how to deal with delicate things. Is that the type we are worried about choosing the slighter of 2 tribulations (or your better of two positive things). Most often than not eh, it's a choice between doing the decently right thing (or giving in to a new judgment) and whatever else (ie let go of something you think is hurting us, or get hurt and hold on because you love that person). These, perhaps, are very rigid actions especially in a culture where everything is personal.
I was in a state of hurly-burly for the past few days. Baffled. Depressed. Anxious. Devastated. The feeling was very indescribable, just unreal - it was in a badlight. I was in a dilemma.
Should I stay? Or was it time to leave?
Do I have to wait any longer or am I really tired of it?
It's a battle between holding on and letting go.
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Boomerang
As with most things in life, just when we think we had something going smoothly, life throws us a boomerang; causing our relationship with someone hard to hit; something none of us was at fault with, but nonetheless, leaves a stubborn scar. I had a misunderstanding with a good friend the past days. My friend was more resilient, offering to piece things back. But my survival instinct got the better off me. And so I walked away. I'm proud of it, so to this day, I still don't talk. I still am doing the silent treatment. Sigh.
Next topic: I missed writing about love.
I could not even remember when it was the last time I wrote something about love. The classic entry about love ha. In fact, since I was broken-hearted 7 years, 6 months, 1 day, 23 hours and 55 minutes (as of this time I'm typing this) ago, eh I have a hard time making love. Anyway, I still try my best to extract some creative juices. So, if there are things I have learned from my past relationship, here are some of those.
Battleground
Love is a battleground. Here is one of the characters in the Chuck series. I texted this line to my friends. Surprisingly, one friend of mine naively texted back and said - “So if you know that you have all the weapons, don't get yourself defeated…” (with a laugh in the text).
Her candid remark made me think. Yes, yes. Why would I just walk away and concede, eh there are so many more ways that I still do not do; there are so many weapons I can't use. It has dawned on me already, there are things that may not last long… But it is always our choice if we don't make them last. That they will not be lost if we do not choose to let them go. That would not leave them if we just kept our hands gripped together. (Case left and still left me…)
In a Nutshell
Relationships come and go like people on a rotating door. Like medicine, its shelf life is finite, although it does not necessarily have to mean short. When it's time comes, it usually means it's also time to move on. Moving on does not necessarily mean you have given up. According to the song One Hello, “endings are beginnings”. Yeah right, there are more magnificent lives to be encountered, more people to meet who are just around the bend.
A magical relationship does not happen everyday. Every once in a while, it needs to loosen too. But at the end of the day, it will always be our option to let that magic stay. Haaaaaaaay, where is that magic coming again?
Love is not an easy road for most;
It twists and turns with many forks in the road,
Although always, and inevitably, we are given a choice…
Do we turn to the right… or the left?
Do we take the high road… or the low road?
Do we take the easy path…
nice story author keep on posting always