Memory

It has been a long time but until now, I still feel sorry for myself. It allowed me to do something I had always been afraid of. The memory of that night would still be fresh to me if my heart was beating with words I hadn't expected coming from her. He broke up because I couldn't get it. Every time I think of it, I feel like my heart is pounding on the smallest grain. At the time he was looking at me, his eyes were different. Each of his utterances was slow but messy, hard to understand. His breath on his face was both cold when I held it. I don't know if I didn't really understand his explanation or I knew exactly what he meant, so I tried to narrow down my understanding so it wouldn't hurt. Eventually, I realized that he wanted to finish ours. The pain is painful! It hurts! ”

“I love her so much. Every piece of the past I wanted to go back to. He kindly kissed me every morning. It was as though he had talked to me repeatedly and for a long time, as if we had never met before. Every time we held hands like an electric current through my whole being. Her smile was like a day of warmth and comfort and how perfectly she had carved her face. From the thin and curly lips, the noses that are raised to the brimming and restless eyes that daily awaken my personality. Each time, I would like to return to him. ”

“Unfair me! I'm a very bad person, a very poor man. It is very difficult and painful but necessary. I love him so much God knows that. She was above all the women I loved. But I didn't fit her. I never felt that someone like me deserved it for someone like him. To me, he was gold in the most expensive amount and I was a scum of copper. Not only that, it was bronze. Every time memories came back to me, it almost brought me to the brink of death. But I know that's not enough. My whole being almost gave up when I saw her crying and hurting the night we parted. But I need to uphold my decision. I have to be brave enough to tell her I don't love her anymore. Even though it was against the cry of my heart, I succeeded! For the rest of my life, I knew I would suffer in the long run. I'm crazy! Crazy! For a while I waited for the woman I dreamed of but for the evil that I had done, the woman I dreamed of being with until I was gone. ”