I have a crush, or an obsession? Maybe both

I met this girl in 2018 through Instagram. I was looking the pictures in the searching area of the app and I saw this image of a lady with a beautiful girl. This lady was her mom and she was giving a farewell to her daughter, because she was going to emigrate to Spain. After this I started to follow her on Instagram and I proceeded to chat with her.

I´ve been talking to this girl since then, we almost chat every day, she tells me a lot about her life, her thoughts and I do the same. We look like a boyfriend and girlfriend in those messages. She is geourgeus, kind, cute, smart and such an amazing and heart working person. It might be to cliché, but those are the characteristics I like in a girl and are not that easy to find, not some big boobs or a big ass, to be blonde or brunette, these first cliché characteristics.

I don´t know when the feeling started but I am in love with her, I´m always thinking about her and sometimes I start watching if she is online in Whatsapp or Instagram. I´ve never been able to touch her or have a conversation with her in person even when she has told me that she grow up and studied in the same area of my city. Frustrating maybe, but I wouldn´t like that she met me during school.

I´m in that moment when I get stressed for evertything and my mind creates good and bad fake scenarios. She doesn´t know my feelings for her, even when she has left some clues about it. Anyway, I think I would have a chance with this dream girl of mine, but the real problem is that I´m not in Spain and I won´t go there until I graduate from college. On the other hand, she has recently started college and she has started to make friends; she is getting out often and sometimes I chek on her Instagram profile and I see her followers numbers up. I get stressed and sad when I see that. I get nervous when I see she has published an Instagram history and I see inminent the moment than in that image appears a guy. I still don´t know what to do about this inminent fact, I don´t want to stop talking to her, but I know that when that moments comes it will put me down.

Sometimes I wish I´ve never took that decision of follow and write her, but this experiences are necessary, isn´t? Especially for weak minders like me.