Why??
She put her headphones on and looked at her playlist that she created 2 hours ago to listen to her favorite songs in the night but now her mood was totally different from how it was when she was setting the playlist for herself, so she just went to the songs section and decided to randomly play some calm sad songs that will suit her mood and when she played a song she closed her eyes and decided to just enjoy the song but it wasn't going to be that easy.
She was Ayesha, a 21 years old girl, having so many complications in her life but she always tried to stay strong and deal with them with a smile on her face but now she was tired of all this, she was no longer the old Ayesha who used to hide things behind her smile, she was now so weak and damaged emotionally that it wasn't easy for her to control her emotions anymore she became short-tempered and moody and would spend nights crying over every little to big thing happening in her life.
Today she was happy she was with her friend after a long time Whom she gave another chance because she thought he's the only one who understands her so well and who can be with her when no one else is, he was her only male best friend whom she admired a lot and was so close to him that she has told Almost everything about her life to him and he showed so much care sympathy and concern at first that she thought he understands her and he can feel her pain.
But things were not the same anymore they now used to fight a lot over small things and she was crying almost everyday because of him and because of the fact that in years, not for once he accepted his mistake he always played the victim whenever she got angry over something he would react in the same way and scold her instead of accepting the mistake or at least trying to understand this was making her feel that maybe she's the one who's short-tempered and he's right she's getting angry over small things,
but with time she realized that he knows that she's mentally exhausted and she has told him that she's becoming short-tempered and moody but instead of understanding her situation, he's using it now against her and is trying to make her realize that whatever he's doing is right and she's just making assumptions and is fighting over nothing.. and she realized all that when she caught him doing something similar one day she broke her friendship with him like she used to do before whenever they went into a bad fight but then after 1 or 2 days she'd go back to him and apologize for things that he did.
But this time she didn't went back to him because she was so tired of all this, that she somehow got the courage to leave him, but she didn't realize that it's not going to be that easy, he came back after 2 days asking her how she is which made her feel she's special for him and maybe he has realized his mistake, he didn't say sorry but him coming back was enough for her so she decided to give him one chance which turned out to be a mistake and once again they broke up..
And this time he came back after 4 days and she decided to give him one last chance, she made things super clear for him that if anything like this happened again we'll part our ways and he was like okay.. but the very same days he did all the things again he was supposed to not do it and all that day she felt like she's the only one putting efforts in the dead friendship she felt so unwanted as if for him she's like a habit he don't want and at the same time can't let go of..
But she still said to herself that it's just her insecurities, well so it went like that all day and at night when she was happy that she'll have some good time with him after all those nights of not talking to each other, but he left for something he knew how much she hated and he said he'll go there now so it was a goodbye for her and it broke her heart, she wasn't ready for it but it happened anyway so she couldn't bare it and started to tell him how she felt about the way he's treating her and he started doing the same saying it's her who's always making big deal out of nothing so when she realized he hasn't changed at all, and all those "I'll try to change my this habit and will understand you" were just bunch of lies So, she just decided to be a normal friend to him now with no expectations and fights she said sorry to him saying she mean it and that he should go outside safely as it's night time already and should take care of himself, so he said okay I'm sorry too and left.
So that was just a background story, now she was lying in her bed trying to stop her mind from overthinking everything, songs were playing in her headphones but to her ears they were just words she couldn't focus on right now, tears were rolling down from her eyes, his words were on her mind making her heart ache and her eyes were closed, she had so many questions to ask from him like
why he came into her life at the very first place? Why did he promise that he'll always be there for her? Why did he promise he'll understand? Why did he make her so much dependent on himself that now she's unable to bare the pain without him? Why did he broke her like this with his actions? Why did he came back when he wasn't going to care or stay? And so much more..
She was angry on him and more on herself for letting him come back to her life so easily after all he did to her, she was so weak in his matter she was blaming herself for trusting him again and for not being strong enough to throw him away from her life, Because a part of her heart was still taking his favor telling her to not let him go and forgive him and Continue to give him chance even if he's hurting you and not worth it, because of him she was in a fight with her own self now, and with all her other life problems she was now dealing with a silent heartbreak she wasn't even aware of, that too because of someone she thought was her healer..,
It was a long night for her, she cried and cried all night until her eyes were closed without she being noticing and the songs were still playing in a low volume near her ears in her headphones that she took off few minutes ago.
Just a story, I wrote myself, I hope you guys will like it, happy reading. :')
