She was sitting in her lounge on a couch where she used to sit nowadays Because it gave her peace sitting in a cold quiet place thinking about things that hurt her listening to songs and trying to divert her mind from those things. Today she did the same, she was listening to loud music to divert her mind from all the thoughts but it seemed impossible today.
She felt so messed up she felt like ripping out every part of her body. She was so angry and hurt today she even went in a fight with her brother too she was angry with everything and everyone she was so disturb by all the things happening in her life and around her that she even thought of ending her life but then she realized she can't even do that because it was forbidden. She looked at the sky so helplessly with tears in her eyes she was kinda complaining to God with her teary eyes and closed mouth that why it's forbidden to commit suicide when living here is so difficult, why can't we end it all at once when will she be free from all of these sufferings and pain when? She felt something breaking inside her when she thought about all this but there was no answer to her questions and she sat there for hours looking at the sky.