What does he meant by seeing me again tonight??
Will it be possible that.... He knows about... MY DREAM????
With a confused mind, I go home almost not in peace. The scenario a while ago keeps wandering in my mind especially the words came from sir Felix before he left.
Even in other subjects a while back during the lectures, I can't actively focus on the lessons. I attended the next classes, without even understanding the concepts itself because I am just staring at nowhere. I can't absorb the lessons being presented because it seems like my mind is full of thoughts caused by what happened in the first class.
But, on the other hand maybe I am just overthinking. Maybe, he will meet me later at evening in reality not in dreams. But, what would be his agenda of meeting me. I can't think of any reason why he has to see me at night when in fact it's sleeping time and we are not allowed to go outside anymore since there's a curfew.
"What happened to you my dear?"
"What's with the frown?"
"Are you sick?"
"Have you scolded by your instructor in your first for coming late?"
Those are the bunch of questions that my mother thrown after seeing me in this kind of state.
Maybe, she is very curious about what happened to me. Me too is also curious about everything. Bare with me for being weird all this time.
"No, mom. I am just tired of the activities we've done in school today." I responded to her last question while kissing her right cheek.
"I'll just go to my room mom. I want to rest for a while," I said with a smile to assure her that I am completely okay.
"Okay, you can go. Don't forget to change your clothes first."
I just answered her with a smile and open the brown wooden door to enter my room. I put my bag on my study table, and removed my shoes and socks. I also took a quick shower to freshen up myself from exhaustion. I lay down in my bed and the softness I felt in my back, brought me into sleep.
I open my eyes, seeing the enigmatic yet beautiful world I am always excited to see. The birds are singing in harmony, and the butterflies are flying with their aesthetic wings with different colors. Everything glitters for a moment that made my eyes look like twinkling as bright as the stars that blanketed the sky above. Even though, I've been here for almost every night, I still can't hide how amaze I am in everything.
While enjoying the magnificent view, someone covered my eyes. I have an idea of who is it already since he's been doing it always.
"Guess who is it?" he said with a slight mocking tone.
I knew it! With that soft and affectionate voice that I always love to hear, I already know that it's my love.
"Felix," I uttered with excitement.
The moment he removed his hands on my eyes, I immediately turned to face and hug him tight.
"You missed me?" He asked me while hugging me back. I can feel the butterflies inside me playing with so much ecstasy.
"Of course, I missed you always my love," I answered while still hugging him tight.
I don't want this moment to end. I always love to be with him and no one can replace the happiness I feel. He is my home, even though I know that this is just a dream. I want to be happy, to be accepted and loved by someone even if it's not a reality. It is just a dream, I know. But, will you blame me for thinking like that.
I can't experience all of these when I woke up. The sad reality I'm facing because the things I want only exist in dreamland. You don't know the struggle and emptiness I always feel when all of these fade in a just a snap the moment I became conscious again in the morning.
"Why are you crying, my love?" he asked while kissing my tears falling from my eyes. I didn't notice that I am already crying from all the thoughts lingering in my mind. I can't hold back my tears because of the reality that none of these happy moments are true and will never be real.
"Nothing. I am just happy to see you again. I really miss you. Can we just stay here, forever?" I told him while still sobbing.
He didn't answer and just stared at me with a smile on his lips but I can see how his eyes scream in melancholy.
"What's wrong?" I ask him again.
"Don't you want to stay here with me, my love?"
I don't know, but I am quite nervous on what will be his answer. I don't want to be hurt if ever that he'll uttered a respond which is totally opposite with what I'm expecting, so I just hug him but I am left dumbfounded with that.
The moment I tried to hug him, I can't feel anything already. I tried to open my eyes to see if he's still around but I am left crying again. He is still with me.......
But he is slowly fading from my sight. He is turning into a transparent one and it seems like anytime soon, he will become invisible.
I don't know what to do....
I am scared with the thought of losing him even if it's just a dream.
I tried to think of him again hoping that he will be back into his normal state. Since, I am lucid dreaming, I focus my mind and think and think and think of him, but I don't know why it's not effective. He is still slowly fading out of my sight...
Is this still a lucid dream? Or am I already having a nightmare?
From being transparent, he is now totally invisible. He is now gone in my sight , and I don't know if he will still come back.
My knees are trembling that made me collapse on the green grass. My tears continually flow from my eyes, and the atmosphere seems like sympathizing on what I am feeling right now. Everything became gloomy. From the magical scenery a while back, it turned like a scene in a horror movie for being so dark and dreary.
"Rhian!!!?? Wake up you're having a nightmare!!!"
I woke when someone continuously patting me.
I opened my eyes and the worried face of my mom greeted me.
The sunlight illuminates from the window of my room, a sign that it's already morning.
"Are you okay?"
Are you having a bad dream, dear?"
"It's already morning, you're supposed to get ready for your class...."
"But, if you're not feeling well, maybe I can excuse you from your professors."
"You haven't taken your dinner last night because you are sleeping peacefully in your room. Maybe that's one of the reasons why you are having a nightmare because yoyr stomach is empty and already growling."
"No, mom. I can handle myself. I will got school today."
I stood up from my bed, and prepared everything needed for my school. Even if I don't have enough strengths to do all of that, I still managed to do everything. I can still feel the pain I've experienced from my dream last night. But, instead of crying, I just hurry up with the eagerness of seeing Felix in school.
It's him fading in my dream last night so I have this strong eagerness to see him again, in school.... in reality.... with the fact that he doesn't love me here....
The moment I stepped inside our classroom, everyone is silent.
I took my seat at the back, but I am still curious about my classmates' behavior right now.
I know that I am not late this time, and our first class with sir Felix hasn't started yet.
I've just took my phone inside my bag, and opened my data connection planning to scroll from my Facebook account.
After opening the data, the chathead suddenly popped-up, and my jaw dropped from the message I've read from our gc. It was my adviser's announcement.
Announcement that we will not be having our first class for today, because.....
Thank you for reading!!
Sorry if there are grammatical errors that you've encountered while reading this story of mine. I am more than willing to accept any correction from you.