The Pretend Thing I Regret The Most

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3 years ago

I was just sitting on a bench under the acacia tree in the park when a guy with a black shirt sits silently beside me. The cold breeze of air embraced our skin, and it seems like the gloomy weather is sympathizing with what we feel.

Minutes had passed when he uttered "I love you" in a low voice. By that time, I look at him with confused eyes and asked "who are you?" "I think you're the approaching the wrong person," I said directly on him. A sly smile curved on his lips but I can see the sadness in his eyes. "I wish there's a time machine so I could bring back the time when you still love me," he said. He turned his gaze and looked straight to my eyes and he added "The time when you still love me,"with a sad tone. "Even though, I don't have any place in your heart right now, always remember that I will never get tired of loving you until the end of my life," he added with tears falling from his eyes and walked away.

My heart ached for a moment as if it was thorned by thousand needles because of the words he said. I think this is the right time to forgive him from all the mistakes he did to me and stop this pretend thing. Yes, I've never got an amnesia from the accident I've met years ago. But, because of anger, I pretended that I didn't know him and doesn't love him in the first place. I even distant myself to him wherein I stayed in our house abroad just to move on from everything. But this time, I have realized that my love for him never changed. It's still him in my heart despite of the pain he caused to me. Maybe that's what true love is. Despite of the pain, when you really love the person, you can still forgive him with whatever he did to you.

With tears falling from my eyes, I stood and followed him in the same direction he walked into. I saw him walking across the street but before I could call his name, a car is about to cross the street too with a faster speed. It seems like the time stops and I vividly saw how the love of my life hit by the car and fall into the ground which made my life stopped for a moment.

I couldn't handle my emotions as I am so scared seeing the blood dripping from his head because of the impact he met. My hands can't stop from shaking but I still manage to ask for help from the people around even though my words are breaking.

When the ambulance arrived and put him in the stretcher, I mumbled my silent prayers, praying for a miracle to save his life. I am so scared with the thought of losing him, and I can't imagine my life without him by my side.

Fast forward

It's been 5 years since the accident happened, and here I am, still sitting in the same bench where the guy with a black shirt approached me. It seems like what happened years ago was just a dream, but I know that I was just fooling myself if I said that it wasn't real. Despite of what happened, I'm still thankful that he was saved from the accident, but things were not the same anymore and will never been back. The time spent before will never come back again as it used to be. It was in the past already, but the memories will last forever and never forgotten. And maybe, the memories are what I am holding on right now, because I know that the love of my life will never been back to me as well.

Because, as I sit here in the bench, I'm also watching the guy from afar who once promised to love me until the end of his breath. And you know what's painful? He's with a girl with a long black hair which happened to be his wife now. I've witnessed how they truly love each other and how happy my love is right now with his new love, which I regret the most because I've only caused him pain before. The reason of his smile will never be me and that made my life crumbled.

Guess what? 5 years ago, I pretended that I have an amnesia and forgot everything about him, but now, he is the one who forgot everything and the sad part is, it's never been a pretend thing.

Author's Note:

Thank you for reading. Sorry if there are grammatical errors you've read. I am not yet a pro writer, so bare with my mistakes. I am still learning right now. Hehehe

Feel free to correct me guys! I will appreciate it wholeheartedly.

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