Losing a Friend Again
As time goes by, as we grow older, we can't guarantee that the friends we have now will stay with us until the end of time.
That's what I realized after reading the conversation I had with someone I considered as my best friend before. She's not the one I've mentioned in my previous articles where I told a story about my former friends that just befriended me for their own advantage.
The one I'm talking about here is one of my best friends when I was in Senior High School, whom I called as "twinny" coz we're like sisters before. I know, deep down in myself that I always treated her nicely when we're together, and I sensed that she did the same way, but I think that was all before, not the same now. I don't know when did she starts to act like a different person, but maybe, she already found a best friend who's better than me and that she only sees me now as someone she can just take an advantage with.
I didn't immediately think of her negatively by just a single reason, of course, I did my observations for more than a year now. From the way she approached me, I know there's something wrong. Oh, I forgot. She's just actually approaching me whenever she needs something, not because she wants to talk to me as a friend. And wait, as her friend, of course I've been contacting her before even if I don't need something, but I'm getting whether a cold response or nothing at all.
However, when she needs something, she's not cold at all. Of course, who would act rudely when asking a favor? Whenever she needs something especially if she wants me to answer some questions for her learning tasks, or when she needs more explanations about a certain topic for her oral presentation, she always acts like an angel. She's very friendly to talk with, and always replies with a "heart" and "smiling emoji". But, when I'm done helping her with what she needs, that's the time when I'm not getting any response from her anymore.
A single "thank you" seems like a very difficult word to say. Even if I keep on reminding myself to not expect something in return when helping, deep inside, I am expecting even just a few words of gratitude, a simple "thanks" or "thank you" will do.
Another situation that strengthen my assumptions of her negative treatment to me is when I messaged her if it is okay to invite her watch a recorded online business forum in Facebook through Facebook. At first, she said "okay" but when the time comes that I badly need her to watch it as I need guest for that forum (since it's one of our final requirements for our business simulation) she was not responding to my messages. Her Facebook profile in messenger have that green dot, indicating that she's online. I even stalked her timeline and she was just sharing memes at that moment. My message to her even showed as "delivered" not just "sent" so it means that she completely ignored me when I'm the one asking a favor to her.
And guess what? She replied.... after a week.
She replied not even saying sorry for ditching me. But she replied because she's asking for another favor. She wanted me to give my opinion about several essay questions which I know that it isn't just about getting an idea from me, but rather, she will be using my answers again for that activity, not even managing to answer them on her own words. This is not just an assumption, her classmate (whose my friend as well) already told me the truth.
I let out a deep sigh after reading her message. I don't know what's gotten into me but I just said "sorry, I'm busy right now" even if I'm not busy at all. From that, she didn't respond anymore.
And few days ago, she messaged me again, asking if I'm busy. I didn't lie at that moment because I'm really busy, so I told her the truth. But, I'm a little guilty from rejecting her favor before, so I asked her if what she's up to. However, I didn't get any response from her again. Maybe she's upset because she can't take me for granted anymore.
CLOSING THOUGHTS
After how many times I overthinked about what's wrong in me, and if I'm just a person who's only befriended for a hidden agenda, I realized that the problem isn't on me, it is on the people I considered as friends but just taken me for granted.
But, despite how upset I am with the way they treated me, I am still keeping the GOOD memories I have with them before. I decided to cut the ties to maintain piece on myself.
Despite losing them, I am happy that I still have real and genuine friends out there who are willing to talk even if they don't need anything.
Author's Note:
First of all, I want to say thank you for leaning your time to read this article. I hope, you gained valuable knowledge from it that may help in whatever aspect you have there.
Second, thank you for those who are supporting me in my journey here. From my readers, sponsors, and friends, thank you for always being there.
Finally, I hope we will all have a prosperous day everyday, and a life full of blessings from above. Godbless us all. ❤️
Date Published: June 2, 2022
Lead Image: Taken from Unsplash
Gif: Originally edited using Canva
