Most parents would not answer this question correctly. When we think of sexual abuse, most of us are likely to imagine a stranger luring a child to a car or a wooded area. Publications have also been made for groups encouraging children to be exploited for child pornography or prostitution. These things happen, but these people are far from the usual kind of child molester.
In fact, less than a third of child sexual abuse is likely to be committed by strangers. Usually the victim knows the attacker. Often times the abuser is a relative. As a result, in most cases children are bullied by people they know and trust, making it difficult to protect them.
Molesters at work
Many parents have a different misunderstanding.They imagine the abuse to violent, the child fighting and crying out for mercy. That may not be the case at least initially. Sexual abuse can initially be disguised as playful or loving touch and continue from there. The abuser is likely to use the innate authority of an older person to convince and pressure the child. Do you remember what it was like when you were a kid and were trained to obey adults, even when they told you to do things you don't like, like going to bed early or eating out every evening? Vegetables? Offenders use this training. One convicted abuser said, "Show me an obedient child and I'll show you an easy victim."
One child received obscene calls. When asked why he hadn't hung up, he said it was rude to do so while someone was talking. A 30-year-old woman remembers contacting her grandfather when she was five. He said to her, "Good girls do this for their grandfather and never tell their mothers." How many five-year-olds could see through such a pattern?
And do you remember how much you loved gifts and sweets when you were a kid? Abusers often use this childhood trait to create an abusive relationship. For example, what would your child do if the caretaker said, "Stay with me in the office shortly after school and I'll give you some money." Or what if the nanny says, "I'll get you up late and watch TV if you do something for me first"?
Abusers sometimes abuse a child's natural love for secrets. Wasn't it exciting to have a secret when you were young? One girl had a secret that she was hiding from her parents. But one day her parents saw her act prematurely and sexually. When asked where she learned such a thing, the girl replied: "It's a secret." Her father explained that sometimes we shouldn't keep a secret, so the girl revealed her secret. A 40-year-old man with his own family who was a close relative of the family bumped into her and sexually assaulted her.
Finally, there may be threats involved, subtle threats that affect the child's sense of security. One adult woman said she was abused by her stepfather as a child.She said he abused her for four years and it all started when she was six. Why didn't you tell your mother? "He said if i told anyone the police would catch up with him and my mother would lose her job. The family would starve and everything would be my fault."
The child's best defense
As you can see, abusers can be the most unexpected people, and they can use sophisticated and clever tactics. Child abuse is probably almost as old as history. But as this generation grows and more and more people love one another, without natural love,without self-control, the threat becomes greater. However, children have very strong defenses. What's this? Parents. Adults are best able to protect them from other adults who want to abuse them.