Before we proceed to the main topic, let me quote this line from a written article i have read a while ago.
"The decision to get married or to move in with a partner is a personal one, but for most married and cohabiting adults, love and companionship trump other considerations, such as the desire to have children someday, convenience or finances."
One can say that finding the right person to spend the rest of your life with, is the first step on building your own family. A marriage becomes more strong with a child (children), like how most of you believe in. I don't believe on the entire concept since not all couple are blessed with one child or more and yet they are happy (or that is what i know).
But, half way i agree that it is quite right for we see that happy families are often those with bugs, toddlers, lads, kids whatever name you prefer to call them. Because they opt to have some lads who make noise in their little or big house- to their lives preferably.
Over the years, i have witnessed how some parents' able and not able to perform their rightful duties as a guide for their children: To raise one with unconditional love and care.
Being a parent is not an easy task. It is an eternal duty- a responsibility which you should not transfer to someone as your substitute. Some didn't able to do it right, some regret for having a baby, some just don't like doing it the right way. Parenting should not be taken so easy. One should think about it first.
Now, Consider asking yourself these essential questions:
Do i want to be a parent?
Am i ready to be a parent?
Am I and my Partner ready to welcome one new member in our family?
Do i know how to be a good parent?
Will i do it right?
Whether you want to be a parent this year or in the next next years, keep in mind these 6 essential pointers-they are basic, yes. But look how people failed to follow and execute them, effectively.
1. BE READY
The first step on good parenting, is being ready. From the walks of life, parenting is one of the most difficult yet fulfilling part for most of the parents i have known. Some said that it is an extraordinary duty - a wage less (non-salary work for 24hrs, forever) If you are not ready with it, you may never be a good parent.
You will likely to face a sudden change in your daily sleeping and waking up sessions, as well as the new tasks for raising a baby such as changing of diapers- changing wet and poopy diapers, baby bathing, breastfeeding, milk in bottles during late nights, washing after poops, strolling around the house every morning and many more on the list.
During the early years, you must be careful with your baby's skin. Wet diapers, poop, whatnots may lead to more irritations. Moreover, in the first years, emergency check ups are expected. You may forget about yourself during that era of raising a biscuit. (you will always be panicky in those early years!)
You may not be able to attend to your personal errands, not so often "me" time and the rest is history for you and for those experienced moms out there.
But one is certain. You will loss most of your me time! Still, are you ready?
2. BE LOVING and CARING
A child needs a parent's love and care. And their attitude will be directly influenced by the love you give as a parent. Do not get tired of loving your little ones, and bestowing care for them. Give them a hug when they are cold aside from giving them medicine. Kiss their cheeks and forehead when they are sad. Hear their little stories, little complains and little cries of laughter.
Loving means you value them, you prioritize your little family. You will surely realize this when you get there.
But another thing is sure: Your little ones are literally a bug in your life. So are you ready to accept them as part of your life?
3. BE RESPONSIBLE- i mean FINANCIALLY STABLE
For we must be honest, you cannot just love your child without doing anything other than that. By means of being responsible, you must provide enough for them. If not a wealthy and luxurious life, atleast a good life away from shortage in basic commodities. A life where they will not problematize what will they eat at dinner and the next day, the next next day etcetera, what will they wear during holidays, will they be able to go to school? Will they be able to make it to college?
Tons of question and too futuristic, right? Well, my dear pal, you must have seen how other kids struggle because of the life their parents have given to them? Atleast, from that scene, you will be able to realize the essence of being hashtag financially stable. Be responsible and give them a good life. Don't let your kids have such poor and unwanted life- they deserve better.
A friendly of yours speaking: If you aren't financially stable right now or atleast you think that you can provide for your future family, then go. But if not yet, work more. Earn more. You will thank me later in life. (Insert smiley)
4. BE GOOD & RATIONAL JUDGE
Kids are not perfect, they actually do more mistakes during such time. I know for sure everyone loves their children amd whenever there is a trouble involving your son or daughter, you will not have any second thought but take his/her side- because of course we know the reason very well.
It is actually heart melting to your kid's perspective and for some who will witness the scene. But keep in mind, don't spoil them by always taking their side. Know the truth first- this is a hard task to do so i will leave it up to you.
I have known some spoiled bad brat because their parents were taking her side the whole time. Disregarding the fact that she's the creator of the trouble not the other kid. It is either she's really a bad ass by birth or it was due to her parent's upbringing.
5. BE PATIENT
Your sons and daughters will surely commit tons of mistakes or even worse and intense than that. But as a parent, patient is one of your crucial asset. It is okay for your kids to mess around (not that severe, okay?) And in the process, let them learn. They will learn from their mistakes.
6. BE GENTLE
You don't have to raise an iron hand to discipline your child. You can't use violence against them. Doing so, you will never notice, they've drifted away from you.
You can actually initiate a calm talk, okay? That is the problem with some parents; they mostly shout and shout. Aren't they aware that they are the ones who has more impact and influence to their children's behavior and being?
Another note: If you want to be a parent see to it that you will not use violence just to intimidate your children. You can talk to them, calmly. They are actually people, they aren't pets or whatnots.
Ending Words
Being a parent is a tough task anyone who choose to be one, will face. Being ready and equipping oneself with sufficient patience, dedication and commitment is the first step. Love and care is a must because no one will love your own blood and flesh other than you as a parent. You should also be financially stable to be able to provide good life to your little ones. Never choose violence over peace- there is always room for a talk.
If you want to be a parent, don't ever forget those six essential pointers above. They may not be the best but somehow, you could learn something from it.
Happy reading, future mommies and daddies!
Sources
Images are from Unsplash.com
