We sat on the old metal chair. Drink slowly the red drink made from strawberries. Pay attention to the people passing by. They look busy with hasty steps. Every now and then I smile, a blank smile.
"Why are you smiling?" His question made me look a little at him "I want to" I replied. I looked back at them, the people passing by. "I smile remembering a soldier" I answered to his question, but only in my heart did not sound out. Raga did sit with him, but a distant heart and mind wandered towards a soldier far away. Strangely, when I saw the face of someone beside me, the soldier's face was still spinning in my brain.
There is a sense of guilt when sitting next to other men. Even though there were countless soldiers sitting with the girl, guilt still enveloped me. I have no clear boundaries, my boundaries are between being and not. There are no boundaries in sight, but I still feel like there are boundaries that I have to keep even if it's just virtual boundaries. I don't know whether his heart is still tied to me or not, but this relationship is still tied to me even though he has tied another rope and forgot his bond with me. Ended with no clear certainty, only certainty that he had tied the knot with another girl.
Me and him just sat side by side, did not see each other, just smiled at each other when something funny passed in front of us who sat down. "You often sit here?" I asked him "well, almost every day" he replied. We didn't look at each other, we just talked without looking. "I like watching a movie in the cinema" I said smiling, he laughed crisply looking at me who was smiling looking ahead.
His crisp laugh didn't make the atmosphere runny like ice cubes in the sun. Still frozen, with the particles still tightly packed together. In contrast to the warrior's crisp laugh, which made the atmosphere melt and made me laugh a lot. Especially remembering when the soldier and I saw women wearing Indian bracelets, do you imagine? If those mothers walked in front of me now, I'm sure my laughter wouldn't break like that time, if only a slight smile could happen.
The sky is getting dark, the sky grumbling makes me worry that droplets of water will fall from the sky "Shall we sit here until it rains?" I asked who raised my head looking at the black sky above me. Again he laughed dryly, which did not break my mood. "Return?" He asked "if you think it will rain" I replied, who this time looked at him "okay, we go home".
I only have one heart. One heart that only allowed me to love only that soldier. Even a soldier who wasn't himself could not replace that handsome soldier. warriors who live in the heart. Raga did not support me to turn to the figure who sat with me this afternoon in the iron chair. Whereas that Soldier could easily find a substitute for me when our rope was still tied, in contrast to me who could not untie the ties let alone tie my heart to another rope.
"Thank you" I said, closing the car door. He just nodded with a smile. I walked and then opened the closed gate of my house. Without smiling and without first waving at the figure who had sat with me that afternoon. I dreamed last night that I would be escorted home by that soldier. But in fact the soldier did not take me, but another unwanted body that escorted me.
Many people say to forget virtual boundaries that are never seen with both eyes. Virtual boundaries that many people consider very bad, I also think the same. However, I enjoyed that warrior's virtual boundaries even though I missed the true boundaries that many people talked about and have also felt.
