Lately, I've been feeling so easily tired of doing everything that is actually an obligation to do, then trying to fill my spare time with discussion and fill in other activities whose history is to improve myself. But honestly, I feel tired, it seems so bland, even if nature is bliss. However, I felt at that moment, there was a strange feeling that made me feel uncomfortable, reflecting, but there was no answer. Why it must be bland like that, try to write, but the words have no taste. Try reading, but do not leave sense.
God never sleeps, He hears every cry that happens to the human heart. I'm sure God also heard this cry of the heart, until finally, unplanned, I wanted to go somewhere to escape. Try to refresh everything that happened, hoping for some judgment. And in the end, God guides me to a place where I can find a solution...
My request to my Rabb, when I feel my desire weakens my love for him.
Between my series of sins, I have a love that is not easy and deep. The glory that holds the Spirit in my body, if this world were mine, I'm willing to exchange for pleasure would love you, marry my love of someone so as not to grow and slip into my nerves, heart, and spirit. Then give me an injection of your gift of love as my invisible pride, if need be, flow in the River of Forgetfulness so that I may fly all my prayers.
If now, I don't like anyone, I can't admire anyone, I don't expect anyone, maybe like a sentence will only love myself but it's wrong.
I try to spare love for my Lord, I try to value peace in my life. Not because I don't need human love, not because I'm not grateful for the heart, even because I don't want to be loved and to love. But all because I'm at the point where I don't believe in human love. The love they offer is only a temporary luxury of appearance and talk, which will inevitably lose time, lust, and selfishness. Because if it is like that, love has become a place for the heart to rent, not calm, sad, bored, angry, no other feelings and feelings, but even though it is joy, it is tasteless, and it is love that is not born of our love for God. This love is not just love, but there are visible values of glory, but when mentioning the name of love to someone before God does not allow it, it is not love, but just a feeling of love that is too spectacular, so I believe it is love. Love comes because God is neat, there is a guarantee of holiness, mutually reinforcing each other.
I need my total reception. Acceptance of my strengths, acceptance of losing my gaps, and acceptance of my inelegant self, thoughts, and lifestyle. Because I am just an ordinary person who continues to be an ordinary servant by getting used to dealing with a series of problems that will usually present at any time, so I will not be more than ordinary with everything.
Because I have lived ordinary things before, so for me, true love is simplicity in life, so if I pray, with God's hope, I will ask for simplicity of my life to cause this simplicity that can make me will always love God.
sometimes our unfamiliar longing leads us to the one who truly loves us..🌻