I sat in the audience seat in the second row from the front, to be precise, at the far right position. And that's what I always do. Why? so that my two eyes, which most people say are beautiful, can still see clearly the body movements that are so athletic with agile and split-second movements are able to successfully return a hard smash hit from their opponent. And this is my favorite sight. But sometimes my favorite view is often disturbed by the passing of the team officials who are right and straight at me. And often they make my favorite sight disappear in an instant because they get in the way of the exact moment I love. For example, during last year's championship, when I lost the moment to record the scene of prostration of gratitude for the victory he had won. I missed the incident again when it happened again, the team officials rushed to hug him. And after that, I could only grumble to myself to express my annoyance. I'm still looking forward to every other match that follows. And don't forget to pray with hope that all those moments can be repeated again and I can see clearly and not be missed again.
"Rin, why don't we pay a lot of money just to watch her match and sit at the far end of here? Lose it." Katty, one of my loyal friends who understand, and now she's starting to protest my favorite seat choice. And as usual. With great compulsion, he was willing to sit down with me to sit next to me where else would I choose this farthest seat.
I just smiled sweetly, to relieve it. I answered. "It's okay, it's okay, right, from here it's still clearly visible."
"Obviously what? Can you clearly see the back of the person in front of us?” Katy replied.
And I just answered it still with a smile. Yes, just a smile. Because I really can't say much when it comes to my feelings. Feeling? Yes, this match is very closely related to something, which I don't know what to say it always creeps into my feelings. Something I kept trying to hide so tightly. Because for me I want to enjoy myself.
"Rina, just this time I beg you to answer my question. What is the difference between sitting in the middle there and sitting here? If it turns out that you really like that person, you should be braver and bring yourself closer to it." Katy didn't want to lose. Still, he still bombarded me with the same questions. And again I just replied with a smile. Makes him look annoyed throughout the game.
Katy didn't know. Katty didn't understand how much I didn't just idolize that person. Not just like it, calling his name as most women do in this crowd of spectators. Because for me it's not that simple.
Tino's name filled my mind far ahead of time, rattling the drums in my ears before the echoes of the cheers echoed through the building. I have known him far and longer than the women who idolize him today.
My life used to coexist with his since we were kids. Since the first, I'm used to seeing the game with badminton. I memorized every movement of his hand in controlling a racket. I have become one of his loyal spectators when he always enlivened inter-village matches or sporting events in the past. And like this time, I still always enjoy the action in my own way. It used to be my quiet way of watching from the end of the alley. From there, something slowly began to grow and develop. Walking slowly but surely my feelings. This makes until now I have not been able to understand what the name "something" is.
Tino knows me so well. He once asked me one day to teach him physics by group study. But I refused. I always refuse. Even though we are still kids because in fact I already know what to do with him. Because to me, he is an aspiring athlete who will shine, if I was even a little near him it could make my dream endlessly. Dreaming is caused by something that in the end I believe will make me fall.
That's my philosophy that I still hold on to this day. Which Katy or anyone else would never understand. A philosophy that if only I was around him would be tantamount to letting myself get into danger and fly with these two crutches into dreamland. Yes, dreamland because a handsome man at the peak of his glory really doesn't deserve to be loved by a disabled girl like me. It's too risky to fall and get sick. I was so unprepared for that. So forever I'll be at this end. By enjoying this feeling I have. Together in my own way that I believe.
