I used to have two stars in my life. But, now one star has left, taking half of my breath. Now I only have one star in my life. He always shines brightly in my life and brings a million happiness to me.
My name is Raina, I am the youngest of five children. My life is very simple everything I have is mediocre. But, behind all that I am very grateful to Allah SWT who has sent two stars in my life, namely my Mama and my father. He is a very extraordinary parent for me.
My two stars always seem to shine brightly in my life. Even the brightness of my stars is able to beat a million stars in the sky that always looks beautiful sparkling at night.
In the month of Ramadan, to be precise 8 years ago. I saw one of my stars moaning in pain. He endlessly moaned in pain while holding back his tears and held the parts of his body that kept stabbing his whole body. My star didn't shine brightly at that time, its sparkle dimmed and even her beautiful smile didn't appear that day.
"Pa, what should I do so that the pain doesn't feel in your body anymore?" I asked.
Papa just shook his head and smiled falsely to hide the pain.
Again .. again and again .. this heart can't bear to see papa moaning in pain like that. My star is not as beautiful as the previous day, his smile is fading away, covered with moaning.
"Yes .. Allah, what should I do so I can see my star shining bright again." I whispered to myself.
Mama also came over to me. He brought me from my reverie. He was always calm in front of me even though his expression looked very panicked at that time. In fact, she was hiding her worries as if she was sure nothing would happen to papa.
But, this heart still can't be calm seeing the condition of papa which is getting weaker day by day. The stocky body that had always been the most comfortable place for me to lean on was now limp as if it was no longer strong enough to support her body. The sweet smile that I always see in my every day is now visible from his handsome face. Even my stars that were always cheerful and brightly shining are now starting to gradually dim their luster.
Millions of questions arose from my thinking, which at that time was still a dozen years old. Bad things that I shouldn't even have thought about wandering through my shallow thinking.
“I don't want any of my borders to go away? I believe that my star will shine bright again? I don't want it to happen this fast in my life, oh, God, heal my star again… ”I said in prayer.
I also didn't want to give up so quickly, as time went on my papa was hospitalized. I kept trying to pray for him so that papa would quickly recover from his illness, because what happened in this life I left everything to Allah SWT. Only a miracle from Him can make my stars sparkle again.
The day has passed. For almost a week, my father was hospitalized and his condition was getting weaker. Now, my star is starting to dim. In fact, it's been a long time since I saw the light return there like the days ago. He began to slowly want to get away from me and leave me here.
Towards the morning, to be precise Monday. My star is getting less shiny. It started to slowly disappear as if it could no longer illuminate my every night. My heart is sad too. My star had torn all my feelings that morning. He left me without asking whether I was ready or not.
Now, my heart is starting to fall apart, the clouds are not as bright as yesterday. He looked dark as if he knew what was in my heart at that moment. Clouds join in crying as my star goes. And the tears began to wet all parts of my cheeks. I still can't believe that my stars have gone this fast.
"Be patient Raina, you must be strong in facing all these trials." Said my friend
I just nodded my head while occasionally looking at my star face, which has now lay stiff. Really this ordeal is very hard for me to go through. I am only a teenager who is still thirsty for love from parents. I don't even know what to do after this incident hits me. Millions of doubts always appear in my mind.
But over time those doubts are fading now. I can't dissolve in my sadness that never ends. I still have one star that always seems to shine brightly in my days, which is my mother. Mama is the only star I have right now. The sparkle of the light is very bright. Even the sparkle of my starlight is able to light up my dark heart in the past.
"Ma, thank you for all the sacrifices you have made to me. I'm really lucky to have parents like dad and mom. You are like real stars so I feel there is a beautiful heaven in this house. " I said with a smile.
"Mama is actually proud of you and your four brothers. You are truly extraordinary for mama and papa. You want to help each other when one of the five of you is in need of help. Stay like this for good, boy. " My mother answered.
An emotional atmosphere ensued that afternoon. It doesn't feel like six years have passed, finally I was able to get through my sad time with my one star and my four months that still faithfully illuminate my life. My star is truly extraordinary, even though it is no longer side by side with the star, but my star is still strong through the days with its bright sparkling light.
Mama is a real star in my life and my four siblings are a real moon who always faithfully accompanies my steps. Not just the stars and the moon, they are for my life, even my mother and four siblings are like wingless angels who are always there whenever I need them.
This beautiful heaven really looks real in my house. Even I feel a happiness that is priceless compared to anything. Mama, Papa and my four siblings are the most beautiful beauties that Allah has given me. Thanks to them I was finally able to finish my studies. This truly extraordinary struggle makes me continue to be passionate about giving the best for them. I don't want them to be sad. I long to see the starlight and my moon still shines brightly even without one more star that has been lost.
"Ma, if yes, at this graduation ceremony, daddy is still there, the atmosphere will definitely be even more crowded." I said that regretted the absence of papa here.
"This is all predestined by Allah. Even though I'm not here, I'm sure I'm sure I'm seeing it from there, Dek. " Replied mama
"Yes ma'am, I'm sure how come dad will be happy to see I'm graduated now, huh. And I am also very happy because one of my father's wishes to see a photo of his five children graduation will soon be realized. " I hugged Mom too
"Okay, now don't be sad anymore. Today is a happy day for you and our family so you must smile happily when soon you will graduate to become a bachelor. " Said mom with a smile.
My feet were so excited to enter my graduation ceremony room. A smile that always radiates from my flushed cheeks. My heart started to shake fast. I guess I still can't believe this.
In the past, when I found out that papa has left me forever. I'm still not sure to continue my studies. But, thanks to my mother and four siblings, finally what I doubted before will now be realized. What a miracle it was to get to a point like this.
I will never betray my stars and moon. This star will always be in my heart. Even this month, I will always be loyal to be my life partner. Even though now the light has lost one, but their love will always unite the sparkle in my life.
Mama, Papa and my four siblings. You have to believe that there is nothing more beautiful than your existence in my life. You are the real paradise that I have. If my life was without you, maybe I wouldn't be able to be this strong to face every trial that comes to me. Mama listen to this simple poem for you. I will always be the most loyal person to always pray for you and even pray for my entire family. Keep being a star in my life who is able to present the most beautiful paradise in our humble home.
Wherever ... whenever ... from the first and until later.
You are the place where I complain, seek approval, and accompany my difficult times.
My thanks will not be enough to repay all your sincerity.
Only a prayer from me can be a match for your services for me.
I Love you ...